Screaming Gestures
by callmebiles
Summary: I'm not broken. At least I don't think I am. And you know, coming back to Beacon Hills after seven years, wasn't going to help me realize that. Especially when death is happening everywhere. Strange things are happening again and I have no idea what. Not sure that I want to find out. [Starts in Season 3A. Stiles/OC Hoping for a slow burn. Maybe a bit of Derek/OC. May be slight AU.]
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hello, readers! I just wanted to start by saying that I'm not exactly sure where I have this going yet. However, I am thankful that you're giving this new story a chance. I also want you to know that, during the story, everything that it bolded and in quotation marks**_ **"like this"** _ **is conversation made from sign language. Hopefully this is a good direction that I have planned and I hope you enjoy this.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own anything in Teen Wolf but my own characters. Wish I did though. :)**_

 **~101 ~ 3247**

Normalcy is overrated. Or at least it was now. People think that normal is a pretty, blue house, with a white picket fence, steady jobs, and two-point-five kids. Who says I want all that? Who says I want to spend the rest of my life, just waiting to die? I hoped I wasn't going to be one of those people.

Truth is, I don't even have normal. I just want my family, the one that I had before all of this mess happened. I don't care what my future holds. It took me until I was standing in the grass in front of a hole in the ground to realize it. All dressed in black with a tear-stained face, I was sure I had lost everything.

How are you supposed to get over that kind of pain? Does it go away? Do I have to push it away and forget about it? What if I didn't want to get over it? Can't there just be a way where I can have my family back?

I _was_ with him when everything happened. I was right there, sitting next to him. I should have been me. It almost was. He saved me, though. He saved my life and I really wish he hadn't. He left me with so much guilt towards what happened. Everyone was trying to convince me that it wasn't my fault. I couldn't have done anything.

He was my hero. Sure, he had saved my life, but at the price of his own. To me, that wasn't worth it. He was better than me, in nearly every way possible. I had always lived in his shadow. And I was always okay with it.

My eyes bore into the grey headstone, not blinking.

The rock was surrounded by flowers and mementos other people had of him. I wish I had something to leave for him. There were so many things that I could have brought. I couldn't have decided what to leave behind. I guess it was a good thing I didn't bring anything I could never get rid of something that I had of him.

In a moment, everything and everyone started to move around me. I felt a hand touch my shoulder. I didn't move. I didn't want to leave. Leaving meant it was really over. That he was really gone and he wasn't coming back.

"CJ." My father's voice called as he tapped my shoulder.

I turned to look at him.

He signed with to me with his hand. "We have to go now." He was trying to be gentle, talking in a soft voice, keeping his distance. My dad knew how I handled things.

My mother, however, with her hand on my shoulder, well, she didn't.

I couldn't leave. I couldn't go back to that strange house. To an empty room, with so much stuff, still in boxes from the impromptu move, right next door to my own.

I sighed and turned to look at my father. I begged my dad with my eyes for a few more minutes.

Dad looked at me, sadly. This was the man I had never seen cry. Not until I woke up in the hospital and he was sitting there. Just picturing that scene almost made my tears start up again.

My father nodded, he and my mother taking a few steps away from the grave, while I stepped towards it. Even though I was alone with him, I didn't know what to say. Not that he could hear me, but I still felt like I should say _something_. I took a deep breath when I felt a lump in my throat. "Please tell me this is some sort of nightmare." I paused. "What the hell am I going to do without my best friend?" I shook my head at the grave, suddenly hating it. "You couldn't have been selfish this _one time_?" The water droplets started to fall from my eyes again and my legs became weak. I fell to my knees. That's when I felt like something was touching my shoulder. I looked up, finding Carter standing there. I was lost, and in complete shock.

How did he get here? Carter should actually be here, but there he was, right in front of me. He looked the same as the last time I saw him. Brown hair, tousled and sticking up in different directions. Dark jeans and a plain colored t-shirt under his signature blazer jacket. My own grey eye color reflected in his.

Seeing Carter here, made me feel like crying even more.

" **How are you holding up?"** Carter asked, softly.

I scoffed. "How do you think I'm holding up?" I snapped. "You were _gone_! Where were you?"

Carter shook his head. **"I wasn't gone."**

"Well, you certainly weren't here, comforting me."

Carter knelt down next to me. He was trying to comfort me by getting onto my level. **"I don't think we should talk about this here."** Carter signed, looking over to my parents.

I turned to see them. They were both looking over at me, confused looks on their faces.

Carter's hand waved in front of my face to gain my attention. **"How about I meet you back at the house?"** Carter suggested. **"We'll talk there. I promise."**

I looked at him, trying to find the sincerity in his eyes. I looked down to the ground, unsure of what to tell him. "How do I know you're not gonna disappear on me again?"

" **You're just gonna have to trust me, June-Bug."**

I smiled a little bit at my nickname. I didn't really like my first name, Chandler. While I was glad to have such an amazing "Friends" character as a namesake, the name sounded too stiff. Everyone normally called me CJ, but Carter was the only one who called on me with multiple variations of my middle name, June.

I nodded to Carter, giving in to his suggestion.

Carter smiled and leaned forward, kissing my forehead lightly. **"See ya there, kid."**

I took a deep breath and used the gravestone to lift myself off the ground. I took another look at the stone, reading the engraving.

"CARTER JAMES PARKER

October 1, 1988 - August 20, 2012

Beloved Son and Brother"

Sure, maybe it was slightly crazy that I was seeing and talking to my dead brother. In my mind, it was better than nothing.

I turned back towards the only family that I had left: Mom and Dad. They stood together, watching me. Maybe they caught me talking to myself, unless they saw him, too. Given the look they were giving me, it wasn't the latter.

I walked towards them, regretfully.

My mom put an arm around my shoulders.

I went to shrug her off, but changed my mind. I groaned, wishing that she would just give me some space. My mom was a hands-on person, I knew that. She needed this kind of comfort. What my mother didn't know, was not everyone in the world was like her. Being like my dad, I was more the suffer in silence type.

For example, I was not looking forward to returning to that stupid house joining a gathering of people who would tell me how sorry they were and how much of a good guy that Carter was. I planned on going to my room and sulking for the rest of the night until Carter showed up.

Returning to Beacon Hills was not on my list of things to do before I graduated, and yet, here I was. Leaving Beacon Hill Cemetary was just an addition to my 'Not To Do' list. We only moved back here because of Carter. I think it's been six or seven years since the last time we lived in Beacon Hills. After Carter graduated high school, the entire family packed up and followed him to college. My parents thought it would be best with how attached I was to him. Carter grew up in Beacon Hills, he deserved to be buried there, too. Now that he was back, so were we.

The car ride was silent, apart from my mother commenting how she was glad the weather held out. It was always so muggy and rainy here. I hated it.

I noticed my father glancing in the rearview mirror to check on me. I hope he didn't think I was going to jump from the car. Dad probably turned the child lock on anyway, so I couldn't open the door if I wanted.

My father pulled the car up to the four-bedroom house. The driveway had three other cars in the driveway: my car, my mom's and what was left of Carter's. The other cars, that were here for the 'get-together,' were parked along the street, going two or three houses passed my own. My aunt probably let all the people in, so they wouldn't be standing out in the stuffy end-of-August air.

When we entered the house, everything stopped. The attention turned towards us as we opened the front door into the living room. Everyone was staring.

I could feel my face blush a deep red color. All the eyes were intimidating. It was like I was a new toy, recently broken, and no one knows what they should do. So they stare. And I felt like I was hyperventilating.

My father cleared his throat, freeing his hands so I could understand what he was about to say. "Thank you all for coming." His voice was shaky.

It scared me seeing my big, tough dad be so distraught.

No one in the living room moved, still. There were people in the doorway to the kitchen on the left, and the dining room on the right. People sat on our couch, in places where Carter once sat.

My eyes watered. I pulled myself out of my mother's ever-present grasp and ran up the stairs to my room. I couldn't take all the eyes staring at me. They felt bad for me. I knew that. I already felt bad enough without their feelings being pushed onto me. I slammed my door and locked it. As I walked further into my room, I ripped off the stupid dress I was wearing. There was no way I was going to keep it on longer than I had to. I dug through some unpacked boxes in search of a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt I had stolen from Carter's room before we moved. I climbed into my bed and rolled myself deep into the covers. I felt like sleeping and never waking up. I closed my eyes, wanting Carter to show up. If he was going to show up. I very well could have imagined the whole thing. Wouldn't be the first time I thought I saw something that couldn't be real.

I sighed, giving into my tiredness and getting to the brink of a deep sleep.

Only instead of falling into that peaceful and welcoming bliss, I was tapped on the shoulder. I turned sharply, backing away and falling off my bed. I looked back up, rubbing my back, trying to recover from the fall. I rolled my eyes at the sight of my mother. I shook my head at her, standing to my feet. **"My door was locked."** I signed at her.

"I know. But your father hasn't installed your flash doorbell yet." Mom said, moving her hands along with the words. "There are a couple people who want to see you."

" **I don't want to see anyone."**

Mom ignored my wishes and looked back at the door, calling them inside. Two women walked inside, both with red hair and definitely dressed for a wake. "Chandler, you remember Aunt Natalie. And your cousin, Lydia."

" **Sorta."** I signed, trying not to cringe at my mother calling me Chandler.

"Chandler, you've grown so much." Aunt Natalie said to me.

" **My name is CJ."** My gestures were sharp.

My mom gave me a scolding look, but she translated for me anyway. "She prefers to be called CJ."

"Right. I remember that now." Natalie looked back at her daughter. "Lydia, you remember her, right? You two used to be inseparable when you were little."

I looked over at the red-haired beauty. She was much taller than I remember, of course, since it had been seven years since we moved away. Shyly, I waved at the girl.

"Yeah, I remember." Lydia said. "Can't say I remember much sign language. It's been a while."

" **That's okay. You just need to know I can't hear you."** I told her. **"And if you don't talk too fast, I can read lips. It's less accurate, but it works."**

Lydia looked really confused back at my mom.

"Chandler, you can talk." My mom reminded me.

I shrugged. **"Don't feel like it."**

My mother sighed, turning to Lydia. "She wants you know know that she can't hear you." She explained. "But she can also read lips, so make sure you face her and talk slow."

Natalie and my mom were taking steps out of my room.

"Mom?" Lydia said, protesting her mother's departure.

"Oh, honey, you'll be fine. We'll be right downstairs. You two need to catch up." Natalie smiled.

"Ah, but - " Lydia's words stopped with my mother closing the door. She turned back towards me and took a deep sigh.

"Sorry." I said to her.

"You _do_ talk." Lydia noticed.

I shrugged. "I do. I just don't really have much to say anymore."

Lydia pursed her lips. "You don't think you've all been through enough?" she said. "I can tell you're really straining your mom."

"I didn't really want to come back here." I said, shaking my head. I swallowed the growing lump in my throat and sat back onto my bed. "I know he'd want to be here, but being with my friends would have helped better."

Lydia joined me on the bed, having nothing else to sit on but boxes. She pulled at her skirt, trying to keep it from riding up.

I noticed her struggle and passed her a pillow, hoping it might help her feel more comfortable.

"Thanks." Lydia said, taking the pillow from my hands and placing it over her lap.

The two of us sat in an awkward silence for a long time. It was just like my mom to do something like this. Force me to bond with my cousin. Not that I didn't want to, but the situation was too much for me to handle with Carter's death alone. I didn't want to be forced into making friends yet. I needed to adjust.

"You're going to Beacon Hills High right?"

I nodded at her, not sure what else to say.

"Okay, so, I feel like to make both of our mom's happy, we have to hang out. Why don't you and I go out and find something cute for your to wear."

I furrowed my brow at her. "Wear to what?"

"My best friend just got back from France. She was visiting family or something. So she and I were going to get together with some other friends. You'd need something to wear since you're obviously not unpacked yet. And I figured, new place, new start. We can get something for the first day of school tomorrow."

"I don't know." I said. I wasn't really all for hanging out with so many people that I didn't know. Plus, if I wasn't imagining Carter earlier, he'd be coming back.

"I mean, you really don't have to come if you don't want to I just thought you might want to so you can get your mind off of some of the things going on right now." Lydia continued to talk, but I was having a hard time keeping up with her.

I was shaking my head at her and trying to get her to stop. With no avail, I leaned forward, reaching for her hand.

"What?" Lydia asked, confused.

"You were talking too fast."

Lydia laughed a little bit. "Sorry. I'm just - "

"Not used to people who can't hear?" I asked, already knowing the answer. "It's okay. I'm used to people who don't know I can't hear them."

"Maybe you can teach me sign language. So I don't have to worry about talking slow."

I laughed. "That may take a while."

"I'm a fast learner."

I bit my lip and then nodded. "Okay. I'll come. But you have to promise not to leave me behind."

"Of course." Lydia responded.

I pushed myself out of my bed and walked towards one of my clothes boxes. "Let me just find some jeans and I'll be right down."

Lydia got off my bed and walked towards the door. "Great. I'll go tell our moms." And she left my room.

I couldn't believe what I was doing. Why was I going out? I didn't know anyone. I hardly knew Lydia and now I was going on shopping trips with her. The day of Carter's funeral and all I was doing was going out with random people to some unknown place. I definitely should have asked more questions. I found a pair of skinny jeans anyway and pulled them on, reaching for my Chucks that sat by the door. I took a deep breath with my hand on the door handle, trying to prepare myself. I opened the door and walked into the hallway and down the stairs.

Everyone was still here and talking busily.

I looked around for my mom or Lydia. I found my mom first, talking in the kitchen with my aunt.

"I'm just worried about her, Nat." My mom spoke.

I stopped, realizing she was talking about me. I hid myself behind the wall, peeking into the room so I could see what they were saying.

"She won't talk to anyone. She used to sign and talk and now..." My mother said. "She only signs at me. She probably doesn't even want anything to do with me."

"She's just in a bad place right now, Chris." Natalie explained. "She's just lost Carter. You can't expect her to be happy and cheerful."

"It's not just that. She's been talking to herself. She was talking at his grave."

"She's talking to Carter. CJ just believes that he can hear her." Natalie reasoned.

My mom shook her head. "This is different. She was nodding. Like there was something responding to her, questioning her."

My aunt sighed. "I guess that could be something to worry about. Maybe she needs some sort of counseling or therapy."

I shook my head, stepping away from the door. What does she know? Natalie certainly doesn't know me, so I don't know why she's saying I should go to therapy. I can't talk about my feelings. Now they want me to talk with some stranger. God, my family is so insane. I would never be able to deal with Mom without Carter being the buffer between us.

Someone tapped my shoulder and I turned quickly.

Lydia stood behind me, apologizing quickly. "You ready?"

I shook my head. "I can't go." I told her, before running back up to my room. I locked my door again and pushed a pile of heavy boxes in front of the it. I lost the jeans, replacing them, once again with my sweatpants and crawled back under the covers. I waited for Carter as long as my eyes would allow before they closed and I drifted to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Just as a reminder to all those who are reading. When the text is written in just bold lettering,**_ **"like this",** _ **that is all conversation in sign language. Second, when I write a conversation between, say, CJ's mom and her, CJ's mom's speech may not be bolded because she is speaking while she's signing. I'm hoping it's kind of just implied that if they're talking to CJ they're signing. Of course, that excludes those characters who don't know ASL.**_

 _ **Also, if you have any other questions, do not hesitate to ask. I'm no expert on those who are deaf, or ASL, but if you're curious about something in the story, I will definitely be of assistance. I'll probably get back to you pretty quickly. I don't do much but work, eat, sleep, and write. So, yeah.**_

 _ **Okay, thanks, enjoy, bye. :D**_

 **! #$# !**

 **~102 ~ 3573**

I had spent the rest of the night tied up in my sheets, not wanting to face the world again. Just the thought of my mother taking my aunt's advice about putting me in therapy was enough to make me certifiable. Maybe talking to my dead brother wasn't the best idea. Not that it mattered. Carter hadn't shown up last night, unless he did while I was asleep. I was still having a hard time believing that I had seen him.

I was supposed to be getting ready for my first day at Beacon Hills High. Instead, though, I was still trying to ignore the world. I rolled over onto my side to look at the boxes that were still stacked in front of my door. The boxes hadn't budged which meant no one tried to get into my room last night. I was grateful for that at least. Even still, I was not ready to go to school surrounded by a bunch of new people who didn't know me.

I stared at the door, waiting for the handle to start turning and my mother to make sure that I was awake and dressing myself. Just as that thought ran through my mind, the handle moved. I sighed, waiting for the door to open, at least as much as it could with the barrier I built. Unfortunately, the door did open, and just enough for my mother to stick her head inside.

Mom turned her head, seeing the boxes and looked back to me with an exhausted look on her face. "Chandler, move the boxes."

I groaned, shaking my head into the pillow.

"You have to go to school." Mom said. "Please don't make me get your father."

I was pretty sure my father wouldn't do anything. I liked to think he was okay with me moping around the house for a little bit. It's only been a week since Carter's death. I was allowed to feel a little depressed over my best friend dying.

"Chandler…" My mom warned.

I sighed, rolling out of bed and moving the boxes from in front of the door. I started to walk back to my bed, but I felt my mom's hand on my arm.

"Oh, no." She signed. "You need to take a shower." Mom pushed me into my bathroom, starting the shower for me. "Please, take a shower. I'll set something out for you." And then she left me.

I rubbed my fingers over my eyes, still trying to wake up. I took my shower anyway, and exitted my bathroom with my towel around me. I saw a dress laid out on my bed. No way was I going to wear that. Of course, when I went downstairs, my mom was surprised to see me wearing jeans and a tshirt with my hair up in a messy bun.

"What happened to the dress I laid out?" Mom asked.

" **Wasn't feeling it."** I signed, moving to the counter in search of my cereal box.

Mom stood next to me, facing me. "But it was so pretty. It'll make your eyes pop."

I turned to Mom after sighing. **"I don't need a dress to make my eyes** _ **pop**_ **."** I snarked. I joined my father at the kitchen table, not wanting to start a fight with her over a dress.

My father waved his hand, getting my attention away from my breakfast. "Are you ready for your first day?"

I shook my head. **"Can't I hold off? Just another week?"**

Dad let out a long breath. He was about to open his mouth to answer when my mother stepped up beside him.

"All you'll be doing is spending that week in bed. It's better if you just go. You need to get yourself out there."

" **Carter - "**

Mom shook her hand at me. "Carter would want you to move on."

I glared up at her, but then turned back down to my dad. I raised my brow to him.

"You should go." Dad signed.

I looked back to my cereal bowl, suddenly not hungry anymore. I stood back up, throwing my bowl into the sink.

"CJ?"

I turned to face him. **"Will you drive me?"**

Dad debated with himself and then silently with my mother. Eventually he stood and grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair, shrugging it on. "I should get to the office early today, anyway. While I'm glad the firm welcomed me back, I've got some catching up to do."

My mother leaned over, kissing my father's cheek. "I'll see you for dinner." She turned to me. "And I'll see you after school. Good luck."

I nodded at her with my mouth in a straight line. Sure, I needed all the luck I could get. I led the way out to my father's car and sat in the passenger seat. I glanced over at Carter's car that sat in the driveway. Silently, I wondered why we still had it. It wasn't at all driveable. It was a complete wreck and probably an eyesore in the eyes of the Homeowner's Association. I know I didn't like seeing it. It was only a reminder.

I was thankful that my dad was quiet as he drove through the empty streets of Beacon Hills. I'm glad he knew I didn't want to talk.

All too soon, he pulled up in front of the high school.

I stared up at the entrance, really dreading going through the double doors and to this stupid, new school.

Dad noticed my hesitation and put the car in park.

I could feel his eyes on me while my eyes stayed on the school. I sighed.

Dad tapped me on the shoulder, gaining my attention. **"We can skip if you want to. We'll go do something fun."** He offered. **"Just you and me."**

I appreciated the gesture. **"It's not worth the trouble from Mom. She'll find out and then go crazy from being left out."**

" **Good point."** Dad laughed. **"Mom said you talked to Lydia last night. You could go in and find her."**

" **I don't think we fit in the same crowd. We may have gotten along seven years ago, but we're strangers now."**

" **Just give it a shot. For me?"**

I nodded at him.

Dad smiled. He leaned over and kissed my forehead.

I curled up the corner of my lip and put my hand on the door.

Dad stopped me one last time, though. **"You do know you have to do some talking. There probably aren't many other's who sign."**

" **I know."** I sighed. **"A girl can hope though, right?"**

" **Right."** Dad nodded. **"Are you sure you don't want an interpreter?"**

I scoffed. That was the last thing I needed. I was already the new girl. I didn't want to be branded the new, weird, _deaf_ girl with a lackey following her around.

" **Okay."** He pushed his flat palms out in front of him. **"Calm down. It was just a suggestion."**

" **It was a** _ **stupid**_ **suggestion. I'm gonna go now."**

" **Try to have a good day."**

" **I will."** I finally pushed myself out the car door. I stood in front of the car, looking up at the school. I turned back to my dad.

" **I love you."**

" **Me too."** I took a deep breath, finally taking the rest of the steps towards the school. I was running a little late from my protesting the day. There were very little people in the hallways, so I had a hard time finding the front office to get my schedule. Thankfully, I found it. I entered the room, standing at the front desk.

"Just a second, sweetheart." The lady behind the desk said.

I waited for a couple moments, looking around the office. There were flyers for activities hanging on a bulletin board, as well as a couple missing persons posters.

"Alright, what can I do for you?"

I raised my arms, ready to tell her what I needed, but then remembered I wasn't at my old school. Nobody knew how to sign here. I sighed. "My name is Chandler Parker. I need to pick up my class schedule."

The secretary typed into her computer and the printer beside her started to spit out a piece of paper. The lady handed me the paper. "Good luck, hun." She said, before turning back to her computer.

I furrowed my brow at the woman. Was that all I was going to get. A good luck and a push out the door? Not that I was expecting a freaking welcome wagon, but I thought I'd at least get a tour. I looked down wondering when the first bell was supposed to ring. I groaned, realizing that the bell chimed while I was waiting on the secretary to help me. I rushed down the hallways, dodging slow bodies easily, in search of my classroom.

Excitingly enough, I had English first period. If anything, this was the silver lining to my day. Of course, that was ruined when I entered the classroom. Two seats were empty and a tall brunette was debating between them. One of the seats was up front, the other was towards the back. I needed the front seat.

Unfortunately, the girl looked to the boy sitting between the two desks and asked about the one in front of him.

I sighed deeply and lowered my head. Maybe the silver lining meant absolutely nothing with a seat in the back. I looked around the room, finding my cousin sitting next to the window. The boy next to her seemed to notice I was new and he wouldn't stop staring.

I kept my gaze down and moved to the only empty desk. As I sat, my phone vibrated. I groaned, thinking it was my mom telling me to make it a great day. But when I pulled it out, the text was from a number I didn't know.

" _The offing was barred by a black bank of clouds and the tranquil waterway, leading to the uttermost ends of the earth, closed somber under an overcast sky, seemed to lead into the heart of an immense darkness."_

What a weird text. I looked up from my phone and saw that the teacher had entered and was reading the passage on her own phone.

The boy in front of me, passed a book to me and I took it with a nod.

I reached into my bag and pulled out one of my notebooks for class. I opened it, and started to copy the last line from my phone to my notes. Before I could reach the end of my passage, there was a tap to my shoulder. I looked up to see my teacher standing there, with her arms crossed. I was like a deer caught in headlights.

The teacher said something to me but I didn't catch it.

I was distracted by the embarrassment I felt from being caught. I panicked, looking around at the room. My eyes met with Lydia. I gave her a pleading look, hoping she would catch on.

Lydia took out her phone and typed on the screen quickly.

My phone buzzed on the desk and I looked down at it, while my teacher was still trying to talk to me.

" _She's saying no phones. And that she didn't want to start the semester bad."_ It must have been a text from Lydia. How she got my phone number I will never know.

I looked back up at my teacher. The look on her face was one that I could compare to my mother when she was mad at me. I help my fist against my chest and moved it in a circle. "Sorry." I said. "I was just trying to - "

"Break my rules?" The teacher asked.

"Rules?" I furrowed my brow, looking at Lydia again.

Lydia sighed. She spoke and raised her hand.

The teacher turned to face Lydia.

I watched Lydia's lips closely.

"She can't hear you."

The teacher looked back at me with a raised brow, trying to figure out if it was a joke or not.

Lydia edged me on.

I sighed. **"I'm deaf."** I signed at her, before speaking it. "If I can't see your lips, I can't understand you." Not five minutes in and I'd already managed to make a spectacle of myself.

The teacher made an 'o' with her mouth. "I'm sorry." She said. "Don't you have a translator?"

"An interpreter." I corrected. "And no. It's a personal choice."

The teacher nodded. She turned back to the front of the class and made her way towards the blackboard. She was talking, and of course, I couldn't see her lips, so I had no idea what she was saying.

I groaned, crossing my arms on my desk and slamming my head down onto it. This was going to be harder than I thought. I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked up to see the boy in front of me, facing me. I furrowed my brow at him.

The boy enunciated clearly, pointing to my pen and notebook. "Can I?"

I nodded slowly at him.

He grabbed my pen and spun my notebook around. When the boy moved his hand, I saw he had written a few chapter numbers followed by a question.

I looked at him questioningly.

"It's the assignment." He said to me.

My jaw dropped, shocked by his helpfulness. "Thank you." I signed.

He smiled at me. "You're welcome." He turned back to face the front of the room.

I sighed, thankful to have a couple people on my side. Lydia, for helping me explain to the teacher. And for the kid in front of me, for whoever he was, helping me figure out what I was supposed to do.

I opened my book and started reading. My mind trailed off thinking of how the rest of my day might go. Honestly, I wished the kid in front of me could follow me to all of my classes and be my saving grace. Unfortunately, the second that I thought that, I noticed his movements. He grabbed his backpack and left the room, the teacher following after him.

Lydia must have noticed my stress because I received another text from her. _"We should study together. I'll help you with this, if you teach me ASL."_

" _Seriously?"_

" _Seriously."_

I looked over at her. **"Thank you."**

Lydia nodded.

The boy next to Lydia seemed to notice our conversation and whipped his head towards her.

Thankfully, I lost myself in the book again and I planned on staying there until class was over. Of course, something drew my attention back towards the class. Everyone was looking towards the windows. I followed their eyes and saw a red spot on the window. Outside it, there were so many birds that were outside the window. They were all heading in the direction of the school. I looked over at Lydia, who looked back at me briefly.

After that, the first bird of many hit the classroom windows. They all just started hitting the windows with so much force that I could almost feel the classroom shaking. A few of them started breaking windows.

I grabbed my phone and texted my mom. _"Emergency at the school."_

I hid myself under my desk, crouching down and covering my head with my arms. I could tell myself that it was okay. Part of me knew that it wasn't. I tried to look up to see what was going on. Birds were flying all over the classroom. I felt a sting on my head and put my fingers to it. Great. Blood. It'd probably be better if I just stayed uncurious about everything that was happening. I felt my hands getting scratched up. Scratched hands is better than a scratched face.

Another few minutes passed and I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Lydia.

"CJ, are you okay?"

I nodded. **"I'm okay."**

Lydia pulled on my arm to help me up. She took a look at me, noticing the gash on my forehead. Lydia gasped. "Oh, my god." She turned to the boy next to her.

The boy left, coming back with a tissue and a bandaid.

Lydia took the tissue from the boy and wiped at the cut on my forehead. "I guess you're not really okay."

"I'm okay." I signed. "It's just a scratch. I've had worse recently." I told her referring to the car accident.

The boy tapped Lydia on the shoulder. "I'm gonna call my dad." he said, before stepping away from us.

Lydia put the bandaid on my head."Okay. There you go."

" **Thank you."**

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

I shook my head. "No, you go. Be with…" I motioned towards the boy on the phone.

Lydia followed my gesture. "Who? Stiles?"

I furrowed my brow, not really sure what she'd said. "Who?"

Lydia pulled out her phone and typed something.

"Stiles?" I questioned. "Is that a name?"

Lydia smiled and nodded. "It's a little strange, isn't it?"

"A little?"

Lydia's attention go caught by something behind me, towards the classroom entrance. She waved. "It's your mom."

"What?" I turned around, seeing my mom coming towards me. I groaned silently. When I texted her, I hadn't expected her to come storming into my classroom. I dropped my chin.

Lydia waved her hand at me. "I'm gonna go." She said, jerking her thumb behind her.

I nodded at her. **"Thank you."**

Lydia nodded and went over to stand next to the brown haired girl.

Mom placed her hand on my shoulder and turned me to look at her. "What the hell happened?" She signed.

" **I don't know. The birds they just - "**

Mom stopped me, shaking her hand. "How did this happened?"

I scoffed at her. **"You think I know why these random birds decided to fly into my classroom and destroy everything."**

"Chandler, that's not what I meant."

" **Sure."**

Mom took a deep breath. "Are you okay?" She signed.

" **I'm okay."**

"Are you sure? You're not hurt? Do you need to go to the hospital?"

" **No, I'm okay."**

"We can just go see your doctor if you need to."

"Mom!" I shouted, getting everyone's attention in the room. I felt my face flare up in a scarlet mess. I let out a large breath. **"I just want to go home."**

"Okay. Let's get you home." She turned to find Lydia. "Lydia, do you want a ride home?"

Lydia shook her head no.

I turned away, packing up my things. I looked towards the door, seeing the sheriff come in. I also saw my mom approach the man. I sighed. Now, she was going to complain to the man about how he may have let this happen. I threw my backpack onto my shoulder and walked up to my mom. I grabbed her arm and tried to pull her away. **"Mom, let's go."**

Mom pat my arm. "Just a second."

I gave the sheriff an apologetic look.

The man nodded, looking to my forehead. He noticed the bandage and pointed to it. "Are you okay?"

I nodded and tried to pull my mother along again. Thankfully, she came along this time, but not before passing her card off to the sheriff. I rolled my eyes at the action and pushed her out the door. A few steps down the hallway and I realized I forgot my phone on my desk. I stopped and turned back.

Mom grabbed my arm, wondering what I was doing.

" **I forgot my phone. Just stay here."** I begged of her, rushing back towards my classroom. As I turned into the room, I ran into someone. "Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry." I looked up at who I'd hit. It was Lydia's friend, Stiles.

Stiles was saying something, but his mouth was moving way too fast for me to understand.

I put my hand out to stop him. "I can't understand you when you're talking so fast."

He paused. "Uh, right. I just - " Stiles looked down at his hands and remembered what he was doing. "You forgot your phone."

I saw it in his hand and grabbed it. "Thank you." I went to turn away, but he stopped me.

"I'm Stiles."

I nodded. "I know. Lydia's boyfriend."

Stiles laughed, getting nervous all of a sudden. He shook his head. "No. Not boyfriend. Yeah, I don't think that'll ever happen. We're just friends."

I felt my face heat up. "I'm sorry. I just assumed. I'm CJ." I looked back into the classroom, seeing the sheriff talking to the teacher. "I gotta go. But could you tell the sheriff I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

"I'm pretty sure my mom was yelling at him." I told him. "And when she's upset, she kinda goes off."

"Yeah, thanks. I'll tell him at home." Stiles agreed.

"Home?"

Stiles nodded. "He's my dad."

"Oh, right." I said, not that I had already knew that. "Well, I'm gonna go." I turned away without waiting for a response.

First, birds fly through my window. Then, my Mom embarrasses the crap out of me. And the icing on the cake, I embarrass myself in front of the sheriff's kid. I knew I shouldn't have come today. Mostly because I couldn't get Carter out of my head. I really wish he would show up soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**~103 ~ 3161**

I didn't want to go back to school. Not after that disaster of the day. After I got home, Mom was all over me. She wouldn't leave me alone to breathe for even a few minutes. I had tried to lock myself into my room away from everything, but Mom would unlock the door and come barging in with food that I didn't want or another bandaid for my head. By the tenth time, I just decided to act asleep. It was easier than having to deal with her overprotectiveness. Sometimes, especially this time, I was glad I couldn't hear her nagging.

After nine that night, my mom gave up. She had gone to sleep, so it was my time to get up and feed myself. Leaving my room, I went to the kitchen and found a plate from dinner in the microwave. I pulled the heated plate from the microwave and went to my dad's study. I opened the door and peeked my head in, finding my dad behind his desk.

" **Can I come in?"** I asked.

"Yeah, CJ, come on in." He waved me in.

I smiled and sat on the couch, placing the plate in my lap. I took a few bites, watching my dad read whatever drafting blueprint from his work he had in front of him. It was nice, just being able to sit with him. It probably helped that Carter had been the spitting image of my dad. If you took Carter, threw on a few wrinkles and some grey hair, you'd have my dad. Sometimes, it was a little scary.

As I took my last bite, Dad waved at me.

" **Are you okay?"**

I sighed. **"Do you think you and Mom can stop asking me that?"**

" **Not until we know you are."** Dad signed. **"Mom told me what happened at school."**

" **I figured. But I'm fine. It was just a scratch. And I got to go home after, so that was a bonus."**

Dad shook his head, sliding out from behind his desk and coming towards me. He took the plate from my lap and set it on his desk before sitting next to me.

I turned in my seat to face him.

" **We can find a deaf school around here. Even if mom and I have to drive you."** Dad offered, earning a violent head shake from me. **"It's really not a problem."**

" **No, Dad!"** I signed firmly. **"I'll spend more time in a car than I want to. I can adjust. I can pay more attention, figure things out with my teachers. A guy helped me out today. Told me the assignment."**

Dad raised his eyebrows. **"A guy?"**

I scoffed. **"Dating is not on my mind. Besides dating a hearing guy who doesn't sign? Doesn't sound fun."**

" **Okay, okay."** Dad laughed. **"No dating. But try to make friends."**

" **I would have to be in school longer than half an hour for that to be possible."**

" **Well, hopefully the flock will stay home tomorrow."**

I showed Dad a small smile and nodded.

Dad sighed. **"I know you're not happy about moving. And I know it's hard with no deaf schools close by. But who knows? If you and Lydia spent some time together, maybe you could teach her."** Dad suggested.

I nodded. Little did he know, that was already the plan.

" **I just don't want you to be miserable. I want you to make friends."**

" **I had friends."**

Dad lowered his head, remembering that. **"You know why we came back here. You agreed to it."**

" **For Carter."** I told him. **"Carter should be here. This is his home."** I admitted, lowering my head. I felt my eyes start to pool with tears.

Dad placed his hand on my knee for comfort.

I looked up at him and he saw the tears in my eyes.

His shoulders fell. **"CJ?"**

" **I'm okay."** Even though I wasn't sure that I was. In fact, I knew that I wasn't. I didn't have any of my friends and my best friend was dead. I was at a new school, where I was attacked by stupid, random crows. No one understood me, both figuratively and literally. **"This was where Carter wanted to be. It's where he was going to come back after he finished school. We followed Carter to school, and I'm glad we're following him home."**

" **Seems like there's a 'but' coming."**

" **No but. It'll just take some getting used to."** I admitted. Getting used to. Teaching. Learning. Being friendly, patient, and accommodating. Being in Beacon Hills was going to take a lot of work.

 **! #$# !**

The next morning, I wanted to get to school a little early. I wanted to find my locker and try to meet with my teachers about a game plan. Since I only got to see one of my teachers yesterday, I wanted to give the rest a heads up that I couldn't hear them when they were teaching. Many of them agreed to help by e-mailing me their notes from the day. One of them, my chemistry teacher, was the toughest to convince to help. He also didn't seem like he wanted to give me a break or any extra help. I hoped that maybe Lydia would be able to help me out.

The halls were beginning to crowd as it got closer to the start of school. I made my way towards the room that my English class would be in until they replaced the windows. As I was walking, I noticed someone turning out of the classroom.

The guy looked so familiar. I knew him. He was wearing a burgundy colored shirt and looked way too old to be in high school. Instead of continuing in my direction, he turned down another hallway.

I followed after him. I pushed through bodies of students who were practically trying to knock me over. I followed the guy until he made it to the doors leading outside the building.

He exited.

I had to do something. I pushed through the heavy door and called for him. "Derek!"

The guy stopped and turned to face me. It was him. He was taller and had more hair on his face than the last time I saw him, but there was no mistaking it. Derek was standing in front of me, still a few yards away. "CJ?" He signed the letters.

I smiled, my lip trembling. I broke into a run and jumped into his arms. I wasn't sure what exactly came over me, but seeing him brought so many memories of me, him, and Carter. I was so small but I still followed them around like a little puppy.

Derek hugged me for a moment and then put me down, taking a step away from me. He signed something but I couldn't understand it. Derek shook his head and looked at me closely so I could read his lips. "Sorry, my signing is a little rusty."

"That's okay." I said, still signing. "Just talk slow."

"What are you doing here?"

"What are _you_ doing here?" I countered. "Did you find Laura? Is everything okay?"

Derek suddenly looked sad. "She was murdered. When I found her."

A lump formed hard in my throat. I knew how much Derek loved Laura, and I loved her, too. She was like a big sister to me. "Derek, I'm - "

Derek shook his head. "It's okay. It was a long time ago."

"A year is not a long time. Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you call me?" Then I'd realized what I said. I slapped my hand to my forehead. "That's a stupid question."

He laughed, pulling my hand from my face. "How's Carter? He almost done with school?"

I bit my lip and lowered my sight. It blew my mind how much things can change in a year. A year ago, Derek was telling us that he was going to find his sister after not hearing from her for a while. In that time, we hadn't heard from either of them. It was unsettling for a while. Especially for my parents, who saw Derek and Laura as kids of their own. But not long after, I lost my hearing completely and then Carter…

"Carter's gone, too." I finally admitted, swallowing the heavy lump in my throat. "He...we were in a really bad car accident a week ago. We moved back to bury him here."

If it was possible, Derek's face fell more. He quickly stepped back forward and engulfed me in another hug.

On my back, I felt him rub his fist in a circle. This was his way of telling me how sorry he was. I nodded against his shoulder. "I know. Me, too." I held him tighter and was thankful he didn't pull away until I did. I sniffled and wiped under my eyes. "We should tell my parents that you're here. They'd love to see you. Especially since you just took off last year."

Derek nodded. "I will. But not right now. I've got...something going on right now. A couple of my friends are in some trouble and I need to fix it."

"Anything I can help with?"

"No." Derek said quickly.

I was curious. He was hiding something. But then again, that was always how Derek was. There was always something he wasn't telling us. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. It's just something I have to take care of alone."

I nodded, slightly upset he wouldn't confide in me. "Okay." I jerked my thumb back at the school. "I should go." I turned up the corner of my mouth before turning back towards the school.

Derek stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. "Can I come see you in a couple days?"

"Of course." I pointed between him and me. **"We're family."**

Derek nodded. "I'll text you. Do you still have the same number?"

"Yeah. I do."

"Good." Derek looked at the school and then back at me. "That was the bell. You need to go."

I checked my phone for the time, seeing Derek was right. I held open my arms, asking for another hug. Thankfully, he accepted. "I'll see you later."

Derek nodded, pulling away. He waved at me as I rushed back into school.

Maybe with Derek being in Beacon Hills, it wouldn't be so bad. My day was already looking up because of seeing him. Of course, it was weird to see him without Carter. The two were nearly inseparable. Especially after his family died. He and Laura had tried for a long time to make it work by living with us, but we weren't their real family. So, Laura, being of age, took Derek across the country in search of more Hales. Carter never would have admitted it, but Derek moving away was hard on him. They were best friends, and never really hung out with anyone else. Even when the kids of Carter's basketball team tried to get him to go out, it wasn't the same. When Carter graduated, he found out where Derek had been and applied for colleges in the area. We followed Carter there, and found Derek and Laura. The family was reunited.

When I had entered our temporary classroom, Miss. Blake (whose name I'd found out when I talked to her earlier) had saved me a seat in the front. I was thankful, but still slightly embarrassed. The best part about it, though, was that Lydia was seated behind me. All I had to do when I didn't understand something was turn around and ask.

I wasn't sure how Lydia's friends felt about the situation. I didn't know if they asked her any questions. I didn't know if they wondered who I was and why she was being so friendly to me. They may have asked, but Lydia certainly didn't tell me about it. Not that we had time to discuss her friends. I still only knew Stiles' name and we only talked once the other day when I forgot my phone in the classroom. I wondered if she would introduce me to them, even though I hoped that she wouldn't. While it'd be nice to have friends, I wasn't sure I was ready to be bombarded by so many new people. It would become extremely overwhelming and I was sure to just implode.

The rest of the day went by quickly with me working on the assignments that the teachers told me to do beforehand. Nobody bugged me throughout the day, which, in a way, was nice. I could just focus on my school work and not worry about anything else through the day. I needed that kind of distraction after running into Derek.

Of course, my lunch period was a little difficult. I didn't know who to sit by, considering I didn't really have any friends. I had grabbed a bag of chips from the vending machines and didn't have a real reason to sit down anyway. I stood awkwardly, just looking around the room, searching for a place to sit. After not finding anywhere that I would want to sit, I made my way to the library. At least I could get my homework done and get a head start on anything else I had for the day.

Little did I know, I was followed.

After sitting at the table for only a moment, two people sat at my table, one next to me and one across from me. I looked up to see my red-headed cousin, as well as a brunette next to me.

"Hey." Lydia said, passing a coffee to-go cup in my direction.

I furrowed my brow. "Is this for me?"

She nodded.

" **Thanks."** I grasped the cup and took a sip. I wasn't sure what it was, but it tasted good.

"CJ, this is my best friend, Allison." Lydia told me. "Allison, CJ."

I looked to my right and nodded. "Hey."

"Hey." Allison responded, clearly distracted. She pulled out her laptop and a notebook and started to search for something, staring at her arm every now and then.

"Did you get all the work from Ms. Blake's class?" Lydia asked. "Or questions about anything else?"

I shook my head at my cousin. "Well, except for one thing." I reached for my class schedule. "My chem teacher, Mr. Harris, kinda seems like an ass. Am I right, or is it just because I can't hear his snark?"

"No, you're right. Don't worry about him."

"I'm just worried about me. If he won't cooperate with me, I don't think I'll do well."

"Just stick with me, sweetheart. If you show him that you can do it without his help, he may lend you a hand every now and then." Lydia smiled and me, and took a sip of her coffee. Her eyes caught something behind me and I turned to look.

A pair of blond haired twins entered, talking amongst each other.

I looked back at her. "Who's that?"

"I don't know." Lydia responded, a dreamy tone to her voice. "But I want one."

Allison turned her head to look, finally coming out of her own project. I was curious about what she was doing, but decided not to ask. The brunette turned back to the table. "Which one?" Allison asked.

"The straight one, obviously." Lydia took another sip of her coffee.

"How do you know one is gay?" I asked.

Lydia gestured back at the boys.

I took the hint and glanced behind me.

A dark-haired boy came from around the bookshelf and locked eyes with one of the twins. The tall boy bumped into someone else because he was so distracted by the blond's looks.

I could agree that the twins were fairly attractive, but I didn't seem them as my type exactly. They seemed to know how good they looked. Cockiness was not attractive in my eyes. I looked back to Lydia at the same time she set her coffee down.

Allison picked Lydia's coffee back up at the same time Lydia got up from the table.

I shook my head, wondering where my confidence gene had gone to. I sighed and looked over at Allison.

Allison's lips were moving, but she realized that Lydia wasn't sitting in front of us anymore. She looked behind her to see Lydia had joined the handsome twin.

"Did you say something?" I asked her, pointing to my ear, hopefully telling her I couldn't hear her.

Allison looked at me for a second before shaking her head. "No." She smiled. "Not really."

I nodded. I checked the time on my phone and saw the bell was going to ring shortly. I packed up my book into my bag. "I guess I'll see you later." I said, looking at her.

Allison smiled again and nodded before looking back down at whatever she had been working on.

I sighed quietly. Before turning away from the table. Well, that had been a complete disaster. I guess It will be a while before I actually do have friends.

 **! #$# !**

When I got home, Mom was at the door waiting for me. "Hi, sweetie. How was your first 'real' day?"

" **It was okay."** I said, making my way towards my room.

"Do you have a lot of homework?"

I shook my head. **"They give me all my work for class and for home at the beginning. I do it all sitting there."**

"So, you're working on your own?"

" **Is this gonna turn into twenty questions? If so, I'd really like to put my backpack down and have a seat."**

Mom gave me a stern look. "I just, I thought you would get help from a couple people. Maybe make some friends."

I rolled my eyes at her, trying not to let the hurt of Lydia's friend's rejection get to me. **"I'm not focused on making friends right now. You know that."**

"Chandler, you need friends."

" **Not right now!"** I stressed. **"Right now, I need to get over Carter. I need to get into the swing of things. I need to get to a steady rhythm with my school work. I need to understand that I'm going to have a hard time understanding everyone for a while. I need to get used to not having my old friends around."**

Mom sighed.

" **Sometimes there are things that are more important than making friends."** Maybe I should have told her about Lydia and Allison at lunch. Only that would just give her a reason to call her sister-in-law and find out what was going on. I also probably should have told her about Derek to get her off my back, but I didn't want to. Derek seemed hesitant about coming over anyway. I wouldn't want to get her hopes up.

"Okay." Mom signed. "Anything in particular you want for dinner?"

I shook my head. **"I'm not hungry."** Without waiting for a response, I went off to my room.

 **! #$# !**

 _ **Tell me how awesome that premiere was! I could go on for days.**_

 _ **Anyway, thanks for the read. I would really appreciate knowing what you guys think of this so far and if I'm just making a fool of myself.**_

 _ **Also, if you want, follow me on tumblr. My name is callme-biles so just .com to that and you've found me. Thanks a bunch.**_

 _ **Thanks for reading!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**~104 ~ 3239**

Something felt different about today. I couldn't place it and I had no idea what it was, but something was off. I woke up on my own accord and not to my mom bursting into my room. I was able to dress myself with no argument from her about what I was wearing. She even let me drive myself to school. Having that freedom was weird. I was skeptical at first. The past week or so, I'd had to beg to use my car and in the end, Mom would shut it down completely. It had made sense though, with Carter's accident.

Well, our car accident. I had to start getting that straight.

Once I got in the driver's seat, it took me a minute or two, just sitting in the seat and preparing myself for the short drive. Ten minutes. Until I was at school. That's all it took and yet I couldn't bring myself to put my key in the ignition. I couldn't even close the car door. I sat in the driveway, willing myself to move and start the car, but it wasn't happening.

I leaned my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes. I hit my head against the seat just a few times hoping it would knock some sense into me. The school was just down the road. And then that other road. I guess there is another road after that one, too. A lot could happen in those three roads.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't drive to school. What the hell was I thinking?

I dropped my head in my hands, feeling the tears spring up. When the hell was I going to stop crying? The worst part about all this was that both Mom and Dad were gone. The school may have been ten minutes from my house, but that was by car. I could only imagine how long it would be if I were to walk. I probably wouldn't make it to first period. I groaned, feeling the need to punch something. Instead I grabbed my backpack from the passenger seat and threw it out of my car with a force that landed it halfway in the yard.

As soon as the strap left my hand, I saw someone approaching from the corner of my eye. I turned, my hair flying in front of my face. "Lydia?" I asked, pushing my hair back.

Lydia came towards me cautiously. "You've got quite the arm. You kept playing softball after you left, didn't you?"

"No, I switched to field hockey." I said, harshly. "What do you want?"

"Please drop the sass, CJ." She pointed back at the car and Allison stood from the driver's seat. "We were driving by, saw your car door open, and stopped."

I pushed myself out of the car and stood there, wondering if there was more that she had to say.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded, not sure why I did. "I'm fine."

Lydia raised her brow at me, looking back at my car and then my backpack. She had caught me.

"I could use a ride." I said quietly. "If Allison doesn't mind."

Lydia smiled at me. "Let's go to school. Okay?"

I nodded, going to retrieve my backpack from the yard. I sighed, wishing I hadn't had to rely on them. I should have been able to just start my car and drive to school myself. It frustrated me that I couldn't. It's a simple task, one I have done so many times before.

Allison seemed distracted the entire drive to the school. Even though I wasn't paying attention to the conversation they were having, Allison seemed nervous. Almost as if she was hiding something.

After she parked the car, all three of us got out of the car. I tried to thank the girls and rush into the school, but Lydia put her hand on my arm to stop me. I took a deep breath, watching them talk.

"Not at this bank." Allison said, confusing me. "It's been closed for years."

"Why aren't you telling Scott?" Lydia asked, as we walked around the car towards the trunk.

Allison tied the belt around her jacket. "Because according to someone I need to find something real."

I tapped Lydia's arm. "Who's Scott?"

"He's our friend. Allison's ex-boyfriend." Lydia explained. "You've met him. He was the guy sitting in front of you on the first day."

I nodded my head, understanding.

Allison opened her trunk and retrieved her bag.

Facing the car, I was shocked to find bolt cutters in the truck. My eyes widened and Allison must have noticed, because she pulled her bag out quickly and shut the trunk. I opened my mouth to say something, but Allison spoke over me.

"Which reminds me, I can't drive you home today, I have an errand to run after school." Allison told Lydia.

"That's okay." Lydia said, turning towards me. "Do you want me to ask my mom to get us?"

"I can walk, if it's a big deal. I don't mind." I told her.

Lydia shook her head. "I am not letting you walk. Trust me, if you knew half of what goes on in this town, you wouldn't even consider walking."

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

Lydia seemed to want to say something else, but Allison spoke first.

"There have just been a couple murders in town." the brunette said.

"Seriously?" I asked, surprised I hadn't ever heard of them.

"You've been gone seven years, CJ." Lydia said, with a smile. "I know it's Beacon Hills, but weird stuff still happens." She pulled out her phone and looked like she was texting her mom. "My mom will pick us up, and take us to your house. We'll do homework, okay?"

I nodded, really not sure what I had just gotten myself into. I also felt kind of like a backup plan for her, given that Allison couldn't hang out with her. I really hoped that wasn't the case. I should have made an excuse for why she couldn't stay over, but unfortunately I didn't have one. With my mom being extremely laid back today, I'd probably be able to get away with spending all night in my bed without feeling bad about it.

"I'm gonna go to my locker." I told her. "There's a few things I need to get." Truth was, I didn't want to enter the class with her. I didn't really want everyone to know we were related just yet. If she told her friends, that was fine, but the whole school knowing I'm related to someone like Lydia Martin? They'd start pestering me with a whole bunch of questions. _Where's your red hair?_ or _Why aren't you pretty like her?_ I really didn't need that right now.

"Okay, I'll see you."

I smiled at her and quickly walked away without trying to make it look like I was relieved to get away. It was overwhelming being around Lydia. The looks I got just from getting out of the same car as her were something to make my face turn red. I took a deep breath, trying not to think about it and arrived at my locker. However, I wasn't able to get to it.

There was a tall guy standing in front of it, and turning the lock.

I sighed heavily and approached him. "Hey, you're trying to get into my locker."

He said something, but I didn't have a good view of his lips, so I didn't catch what he had said.

"What?"

The boy looked at me, and pushed up on the handle. "I said, this isn't your locker."

I stared at it, dumbfounded. I smacked my hand over my face, covering my eyes. "This is just not my day."

The boy's hand met my wrist and pulled my hand away from my face. "Did you hear me?"

I recognized him as the guy who had bumped into one of the twins the other day. I shook my head. "I can't." I admitted.

"Really?"

"Have you not heard of the new, deaf girl yet?"

"Honestly?" he questioned. "No. Apparently, some birds flew into an English class a couple days ago. That's all people are talking about."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Wait, if you're deaf, **do you sign**?"

I gasped, instantly excited to find someone who could talk to me. **"Do** _ **you**_ **sign?"** I countered.

"Only a little." He said and signed, questioningly, hoping he got the signs right.

"That's right." I said. "I didn't know anyone around here knew how."

The boy shrugged. "There's a beginner's class as an elective. I thought, why not?" He smiled. **"I'm D-A-N-N-Y."**

My inner excitement was going crazy. I was more than surprised to meet someone who could sign. " **I'm CJ."**

"CJ?" he asked.

I nodded.

"It's nice to meet you." Danny signed, then held out his hand for me to shake.

I took the hand. "Thank you. You, too."

Danny paused then looked back at me. "That's the bell. Do you need help to your locker?"

I shook my head. "I think I'm just down the wrong hall. I got all turned around. Thanks." I smiled at him.

"I'll see you around?"

"Sure, I guess."

Danny laughed. "Don't sound so excited." He held up a hand in farewell and walked away from the lockers.

I checked my phone and quickly remembered Danny said the bell rang. I had to remind myself to set alarms so my phone would vibrate when the bell was supposed to ring. The first part of the day went quickly as I continued to work on my assignments on my own. While the independence was nice, I felt that it might get a little overrated eventually.

During lunch, I didn't even bother going to the lunchroom. I wasn't hungry and didn't want to be around all those people. Instead, I went to the library again, hoping Lydia and Allison wouldn't find me there like they had yesterday. When I arrived, I saw Lydia's friend, Stiles, sitting at a table with his laptop out. I approached him, seeing he had a search engine open and was searching 'how to get through walls'. I furrowed my brow at such a weird search.

"Are you planning on robbing a bank?" I asked, making him jump back and quickly close his laptop. I blushed quickly, wishing I hadn't snuck up on him. I barely knew this kid.

Stiles looked up at me and laughed nervously. "Uh, no. Not technically."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be nosey. I just - you were here. And I thought - "

"Hey, it's okay. That's just - " He gestured back to his computer and scoffed. "Some stupid research. For...personal reasons."

"Okay." I said, slowly and still unsure. I walked around him to sit across from him at the table. "But, if you really are curious, it matters what kind of wall it is."

Stiles looked at me confused. "Like drywall or concrete?" He asked, earning a nod from me. "What about something thick, like, say, marble?"

"It's a wall, right?" I asked, leaning my elbows on the table so I could focus better on what he was saying.

"In this very hypothetical situation, yes. It's a wall."

"You could use a saw. A drill could work, too, and it might be easier since saws are harder to control when they have to be that powerful and at that sort of angle. It'd have to be diamond bit though."

Stiles stared at me, open-mouthed.

"What?" I asked, shrinking back into my seat.

"How… How do you know that?"

I shrugged. "My dad's a contractor. I've spent a lot of time with him at work. He taught me a lot."

"I get that." Stiles said, as his phone vibrated on the table. He picked it up and checked it, his eyes widening.

"I guess that means you know a lot about being a cop?"

"Yeah." He started quickly packing up his things. "I do."

When I continued to sit there, he looked up at me.

"Look, I, uh, have to go...do something." Stiles said, pointing to his phone. "I hate to use you for intel and bail, but - "

I interrupted him. "No, please. I interrupted your lunch. I'm just glad I could help with your very hypothetical problem."

Stiles quickly started to scramble away, but turned and rushed back. He put his hand on the table, leaning on it slightly. Stiles looked down at me. "Thank you, really."

I showed him a small smile. "You're welcome."

Stiles turned and stumbled away from the table, this time leaving the library. I sat there for just a moment, just thinking about how crazy this day had been already. First, there was Allison with the bolt cutters, and, then, Stiles trying to figure out how to get through a marble wall. What kind of place had a marble wall anyway? I shook my head. That was way too much for me to bother with.

 **! #$# !**

Finally, the school day was over. I had found my locker (down the right hallway this time) and packed all that I didn't need into it. I turned my head, looking down the hall, and seeing Lydia heading towards me. I sighed, preparing myself to see her mother. I was still having a hard time believing that someone who had barely known me, decided that I might need therapy. I didn't even need counseling while I was losing my hearing. That should tell her that I don't have depressive moods.

I followed Lydia out of the school and to her mom's car. I couldn't bring myself to talk to her mom. If I noticed that she was trying to ask me something, I pretended that I didn't and sat staring out the window. When Aunt Natalie arrived at the house, I got out quickly, passing her a thank you and not letting her say anything in return.

Lydia and I did homework for a while, and then I taught her a few basic signs. Surprisingly enough, she was catching on pretty quickly. Then Lydia told me about how many languages she actually knew, and I understood. She wasn't just the prettiest girl in school, she was also the smartest. Why did I have to have so many overachievers in my family when I was just me?

Not long after we'd finished our homework, Mom came up to my room and asked us to help her start dinner.

Lydia and I paused our studying and made our way to the kitchen. Unfortunately, my Aunt Natalie was standing in the kitchen, holding a glass of wine.

Lydia was just as surprised to see her as I was. "Mom, what are you doing here?" Lydia signed, looking to me to make sure she was right.

I nodded at her.

Natalie looked to her daughter and smiled. "I've been here the whole time. Christina came home around the time I dropped you off and said I should stay for dinner.

Internally, I groaned, but I tried not to show my disgust. Instead, I stared at the door, waiting for my father to come in. Thankfully, he did, just moments later. I stood around the kitchen island with my father, watching as Mom, Natalie and Lydia worked a bit on dinner. I munched on a few pieces of celery Mom cut up for a snack before the meal.

Mom grabbed my attention when she reached over and touched my arm. "Lydia was just telling us that you were teaching her to sign." She signed at me.

I shrugged. **"Just a few things. She asked me to."** I looked over at Lydia who smiled at me.

"That's so great." Mom said, with a giant smile.

I nodded sarcastically and looked at the vegetable piece in my hand. I hated moments like this. When Mom and Dad had friends over. They would try their hardest to include me, but I always end up getting left out because they were talking too fast or everyone was talking at the same time.

Mom got my attention again. "Was school okay today?"

I nodded my head from side to side, showing that it was fine.

"Natalie said she picked you and Lydia up from school today. I thought you were going to drive yourself."

I sighed heavily. **"I was going to."**

My father waved at me. "Did it start? Is there something wrong with it?"

I shrugged. **"I didn't try, so I'm not sure."**

Dad furrowed his brow. "What happened?"

" **I went to sit in the car and go, and I couldn't bring myself to do it."** I looked over to my mother and I could tell that she looked pleased.

Mom repeated what I said to my aunt.

I turned to Natalie, reading her lips.

"Maybe since Carter's death was a car accident, she can't drive herself. Some sort of depression or anxiety." My aunt suggested.

I looked at her angrily before turning to my mother, hoping she wasn't buying that. **"Is she serious?"**

My mom nodded once, but hesitantly. "You have been distant lately. And not talking, not eating."

I scoffed. **"Maybe because my brother just died."**

"And no one understands that more than us." Mom signed.

" **Yeah, except you and Dad are acting like nothing has happened. Everyone around me is just** _ **okay**_ **with the fact that Carter's gone."**

"No one is okay with it." Dad said. "We all miss Carter."

"You have been in an incredibly depressive mood ever since you woke up and we told you." Mom added.

" **Why not just send me to therapy? I'm pretty sure that's what you want anyway."** I stressed. **"So think can go back to 'normal'. Whatever that is around this stupid place."** I looked over at Lydia and Natalie who were sharing confused looks given that they couldn't understand.

My father shook his head, leaning towards me. "Who said anything about therapy? We're not putting you in therapy."

I looked to my mother, pointedly, and then over at my aunt. **"Them."** I signed to my dad, turning back to him. **"They're conspiring against me."**

Dad looked over at Mom. "What is she talking about?" He signed, keeping me in the conversation by doing so.

I looked towards Natalie as she put a hand on Lydia's arm.

"We should go." Natalie said.

"That might be best." Dad encouraged.

I watched as Lydia and Natalie left and then turned back to my parents.

"Care to explain?" Dad asked. For some reason he was still including me in the conversation.

Mom shook her head, caught in her scheme. When she spoke, she wasn't signing to I had to read her lips. "Natalie merely suggested it. You saw her at the cemetery. She was talking and responding to nothing. She's barely eaten. All she does is sleep."

"This should be something _we_ discuss." Dad gestured wildly between himself and my mom. "This has nothing to do with Natalie."

I could tell he was getting angry. This is not what I wanted. I just wanted Mom to admit the truth. I didn't want to start a fight between my parents. I shook my head and pushed myself away from the counter. If my family was calling after me, I didn't care. I hurried out the door and ran, knowing there was only one place that I really wanted to be.

 **! #$# !**

 _ **Hey, guys! Thanks again for reading. I do want to let you know that I went back and slightly changed some things. Some things that I rushed into with this because I was so excited, like the extent of CJ's deafness. To be clear, she is**_ **completely** _ **deaf and she was in the accident with Carter. There shouldn't have been any other changes other than those. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and hanging in there while I try to get this off the ground. Tell me what you think! Or what you might want to see happen. I normally take your thoughts into consideration when I'm writing. You guys are fantastic!**_


	5. Chapter 5

**~105 ~ 3146**

I honestly didn't remember how I got to the cemetery. I knew I was running, but I also knew that Beacon Hills cemetery was _not_ down the road from my house. It was practically on the other side of town, and I was trailing on the edge of the entire preserve. Once I entered the graveyard, I slowed. Weirdly, I had always enjoyed cemeteries. They were always peaceful since the only time people were ever there were certainly not at times like this. There were always random stragglers who want to visit loved ones, like me, or during the days when there's a funeral going on.

I quickly found Carter's grave and stood in front of it, just staring at it. Whoever runs this place had already put the sod down over the dirt and there was a bouquet of flowers to the left of the gravestone. There were a few things still on top of the stone, trinkets or reminders of Carter. It was surprising how many people in Beacon Hills had remembered him. The site looked nice, but I didn't really want to look at it. I sat down on the ground with my back against the stone, looking out to all the other lost loved ones in the cemetery.

I took a deep breath, enjoying the cooler air of the night. I was probably about six, maybe seven. I wasn't really sure since I'd left my phone at home, upstairs, in my room, on my bed. It wasn't quite dark yet, but it was getting there.

I sighed, closed my eyes, and leaned my head back against the stone. "Carter?" I called, hoping he would appear again. "Carter, you there?" I opened my eyes, hoping to see him in front of me, except he wasn't there. I groaned, wondering why I was expecting something different. "School is okay. Hard, of course, not being around other people who sign. It was nerve-wracking having to go to each of my teachers and tell them that I couldn't hear them teaching. It also kinda sucked, for them, I mean." I cleared my throat. "Especially if I really think about it, which I know I shouldn't. But these teachers, many of them have been teaching their whole adult lives. With little to no problems. Then in walks me. Something they have to adjust to." I picked at the sod at my sides. "I don't even know why I'm going to this hearing school. Maybe because I know you went here. Maybe I thought someone would remember you or at least remember that I'm your sister. Maybe I felt connected to that place." I scoffed. "That was stupid, huh?"

I jolted my head up and looked out towards the trees, seeing the bushes rustle. Seeing something like that, reminded me that I didn't live in the city anymore. Maybe a deer or something would come out. Something I could appreciate as it walked right by me without even noticing I was there.

"I made Mom and Dad fight." I finally admitted to him. "That's why I'm here. I outed Mom, telling Dad that she was considering putting me into therapy. I just wanted him to know. I knew he'd back me up. But then he must have started screaming at her or something. I don't know, I didn't stay long enough." I dropped my head back against the stone again and closed my eyes. "I didn't want to make them fight. You know, twelve percent of parents get a divorce when a child dies. Add that percentage to the fact that they're parents of a kid who is deaf… Odds aren't so good."

I must have dozed off for a while after that because when I opened my eyes, it was completely dark. Another thing I noticed was that I wasn't alone in the graveyard anymore. Someone else was there. I got up from Carter's grave and, for some reason, I walked over to them. They were standing in front of the Hales' graves. Talia, Cora, the rest of Derek's family. They were just headstones since they couldn't salvage a lot of what was left of them, but it was the gesture of having something of them. I could feel my body heat up at the sight.

"Tragic, isn't it?"

I furrowed my brow. I just heard this guy speak. I looked over at him. "Carter?"

He faced me and smiled. "Hey, Juney."

"How can I - ?" I asked, pointing to my ear.

"That's not really important." Carter admitted. "But it's kinda cool, isn't it?"

I smiled, happy to be able to hear his voice. "It's so good to - "

Carter looked back at the gravestones in front of them. "Do you remember the fire?" Carter asked. "You were what, eight or nine?"

I nodded at him. "I remember it. It's kinda hard to forget. We lost so much of our family that day."

"Do you remember that night? Like, exactly what happened?"

"Yeah, Carter, I remember, but why are you asking me?" I asked, confused. I didn't like thinking of that night. Derek's family was just as much my family as it was his. It wasn't a happy night.

"Mom and Dad went on a date. They asked Laura to come babysit and, of course, that meant Derek had to come with her." Carter recalled. "Everything was going so well, you know. We'd rented The Incredibles and watched that before sending you off to bed."

"But I didn't want to go to bed." I reminded him, sitting in the grass. "I wanted to stay up so we could play superheroes. We were supposed to be like them."

Carter followed my actions, sitting with me. "I was supposed to be Dash?"

I laughed at him. "No way. You were definitely Violet, with all your mind games. Derek was Mr. Incredible. And because it'd be weird for Derek and Laura to be married to each other, I was Elastigirl and Laura was Dash." I sighed. "I had a _very_ imaginative mind when I was a kid."

"You still do." Carter laughed, nodding. "So, instead of going to bed or playing a game, we grabbed a book. Laura sat in Dad's chair and read to us while we sat on the floor, just watching her. We were about halfway through the book when you got hit with this massive fever. Out of nowhere. Do you remember that?"

I shrugged. "It all gets kind of hazy after that."

"The important part is, what I'm getting at, when we looked at timestamps and everything later, your fever hit the same time as the fire started."

I looked over at him. "What?"

Carter met my eyes. "Weird, right?"

"Weird isn't exactly the word. I need something a little stronger." I admitted, shaking my head, scanning my eyes back to Talia's headstone. "Carter, that's insane. And completely coincidental."

"Maybe." He responded. "Maybe not."

"Carter, c'mon." I begged of him. "You don't believe that this is anymore than a coincidence, do you?"

Carter shrugged. "I don't believe much in coincidences anymore. Things don't just _happen_." he confessed. "They happen for a reason."

"So, what _insane_ reason would you have for the Hale Fire starting at the same time as my fever? The same fever, by the way, that started my downward spiral into deafness." I reminded him.

Carter looked over at me. He had on a wild grin. "I don't think that you would believe me even if I told you."

"I have _always_ believed _everything_ that you said. It's got me in trouble multiple times."

"Yeah, but you have skepticism written all over your face." Carter shrugged.

I nodded, because he had me there. I was having a hard time believing what he was saying. Hell, I was having a hard time believing that he was there and that I could hear him. "Why didn't you come home that night? You said you were going to, and you never showed up."

Carter looked away. He leaned back on his palms and looked up at the sky. "I don't think I can leave here." Carter said, sadly. "I don't really understand it all."

"What is there to understand? Honestly, this is all...unreal. Carter, you're dead. And somehow, I'm seeing you. Somehow, I _hear_ you."

"Would you do something for me?" Carter asked.

I looked over at him and nodded. "Anything."

"I know Mom still has all my stuff in boxes. And I know that you're not ready for it to be in boxes. Unpack it. Put everything in it's place. Clothes in the drawer, jackets in the closet, books in the bookshelves. Set up everything like it was back at school."

"Mom won't like that."

"Screw her. You haven't finished grieving yet and it's not your fault that you haven't." Carter explained. He sat back up and twisted himself to face me. Carter put his hand over mine, but I didn't feel it. It was like he wasn't even there. "I miss you, June-Bug."

I looked over at him, my eyes watering. "I wish I could hug you. I wish you'd never - "

"I don't. You have no idea…" Carter was shaking his head, looking down at his lap. "CJ, it may not feel like it, but I promise you, you are so important."

" _You_ were important, Carter. You were smart and caring. You were working on getting your medical license, for God's sake. You were supposed to be a doctor."

"There are thousands of doctors in the U.S., alone."

I shook my head. "If you pull that 'there's only one of you' crap, I will find a way to punch you."

Carter laughed when I said that. "It's true though. You just have no idea."

I groaned. None of this made any sense. Seeing Carter, hearing Carter, him giving me the 'one in a billion' speech. It was just so confusing.

"You should get home." Carter said. "It's getting late. Mom and Dad are probably freaking out."

"If anything, they should know where I am. A lot of movies that I see where someone dies, people who care, always go to the gravesite." I told him.

"Too bad this isn't a movie."

I scoffed. "No kidding." I stood up, brushing the grass off of my jeans. "You'll be here if I come back?"

Carter smiled. "As long as you've unpacked my room."

"Okay." I nodded. "I will. As soon as I get home, I'll start." I let out a large breath, not wanting to leave.

"You have to go back." Carter reminded. "I know how much it sucks. I was in high school before."

"You're different, Carter." I reminded him. "Everyone loved you in high school. The only reason I had friends was because of you being friends with Derek. Derek's family became my friends." I told him, looking back to Cora's headstone. "Then we moved away and moved back. Now I don't have friends."

"You'll get there. Trust me."

I nodded, not sure if I believed him. "I love you, and I miss you."

"Me, too, Juney."

I smiled at him and turned away from him, heading towards the exit. I looked back for just a second but he wasn't there anymore. I sighed and began my trek back to the house. This time, I noticed how far it was from my house. I crossed my arms over my chest. Walking along the edge of the preserve was somehow calming. Not having many natural trees back in the city was so different than having one practically in my backyard. Everything seemed to be going okay, at least until something grabbed my arm.

I gasped and turned around. Behind me, I saw the guy who had helped me on the first day of class. I recalled Lydia said his name was Scott.

Scott was screaming at me, his face full of angry and fear.

I furrowed my brow, but he continued to yell. I finally stopped him with my own voice. "I can't hear you!" I shouted, making him stop. "You need to slow down."

Scott sighed. "You need to go home." He said, slowing his words down.

"I'm going there now."

"You need to go faster."

I was confused. "Is there something wrong?" I asked after a moment.

"No, just go home." Scott stressed. "It's not safe here at night. Didn't Lydia tell you about the murders?"

"Well, yeah, but - " I stopped. "But you're out here. Are you different because you're a guy?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

Scott shook his head. "I'm different because I can hear when people sneak up on me."

I paused. He was right, so I nodded my head. "Okay. I'll walk faster."

"Run." He corrected with his eyebrows raised.

"Yeah. I'll run." I started to move, but looked back at him.

"Go!"

"I am." I stressed, finally taking off into a run. As I got closer to the house, I saw the glow of emergency lights ahead of me and I slowed down. What the hell was Scott's problem? It really wasn't that much more dangerous for me than it was for him. Sure, I couldn't hear him come up on me, but that doesn't mean I couldn't handle whatever approached me. A few years of field hockey at my old school certainly would have helped me out.

I stopped walking a few houses down from my own. I stared at the house. The lights were still on in the living room, and I was definitely nervous about going back inside. I sighed, and forced myself forward. I set my hand on the door for just a moment before turning the knob and pushing it open.

Both of my parents shot up from their spots on the couch. They raised their arms in an attempt to start lecturing me, but I held up my hand to ask them not to.

" **Please don't."** I begged. **"I really don't want to have this fight."**

My mother stepped forward. "You have been gone for hours!" Mom signed.

I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"We have been so worried about you." She said. "It's late and you left your phone here. Do you know how close I was to calling the sheriff."

" **I'm sure he has more important things to worry about than a girl who wasn't even missing."** I admitted to her.

"You are _not_ supposed to be out this late with nothing and no one knowing where you are." Mom said to me.

" **Maybe you would have thought for just a second, you would have been able to figure out where I was. It's not like I was hiding."** At this point, I had had enough. I walked towards the stairs.

Dad grabbed my arm though.

I looked back at him.

"We are not done talking."

" **Daddy, I'm tired. And I don't want to fight and I don't want you two to fight anymore."** I told him. **"I didn't mean to make you fight."**

Dad sighed. "We'll talk about this later."

Mom approached my dad with furrowed brows. "Seriously? We aren't going to deal with this now?" She asked, without signing.

I didn't bother sticking around for my dad's response. I hurried up the steps and instantly went to the room that had Carter's stuff in it. I had just wanted to map out a plan. I wasn't sure where to start. There were so many boxes. Furniture stuffed in one of the corners. Maybe I should paint the walls. I wasn't sure that Carter would have liked the bland white that was there now.

I don't even remember who packed any of this. We were out of the hospital and on a flight back to California in a matter of days. I wasn't sure if whoever packed up Carter's stuff took any care in it. I wasn't sure if there was any sort of organization or systems to all of this madness. And I was absolutely nervous to start going through it. I wasn't sure what I'd find. Sure, Carter was open with all of us about what he was doing and where he was going with his life, but he certainly had his secrets. Just the fact that he was forcing me to unpack his room, for reasons that were still unclear to me, proved that.

I left Carter's room, not wanting to be caught inside it. Unfortunately that desire fell through when I saw my dad, standing at the door to my own room.

Dad turned to me with a raised brow. **"What are you doing?"** He pointed between me and the door to Carter's room.

I shook my head. **"Nothing."**

Dad sighed. **"I want you to know I'm strongly against therapy. I don't believe it's gonna help you at all because I know you."**

" **Mom - "**

Dad shook his hand to stop me. **"You know how Mom is. She just wants to fix things and she doesn't know how to fix you. Therapy is Mom's way of trying to make that happen."**

" **But I'm not broken. I don't think there's anything to fix."** I signed to him with a strong face, hoping that my statement translated through to my expression.

" **I know that."** Dad admitted. **"And I am so proud that you know that."**

I showed him a small smile, but looking at him, I could tell that he was starting to feel uneasy.

" **You are so strong because you have been through so much. I know we've been right next to you, but I'm not the one who had all these medical issues."**

I took a step closer to him, wanting to comfort him, as well as myself.

" **You have been shuffled around so much for Carter. Following him to school across the country and bringing him back here to a place you don't know or really fit in."** His eyes started to shine as they filled with tears. Dad rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger.

"Daddy…" I said to him.

Dad's head jerked up, instantly locking eyes with me.

I knew exactly what he was thinking. If I remembered right, it was the first thing I've said to him since I woke up in the hospital. "Daddy, please don't cry." As I finished saying it, he let out one large sob. I rushed forward, throwing my arms around him in a tight hug. "I'm sorry." I felt his head shake.

Dad pulled away placing his hands on either side of my face. He wasn't really crying, but his eyes were still brimming. His sob must have been just out of pure relief. "You have no reason to be sorry, Princess."

"Okay."

Dad straightened up and moved one of his hands to my shoulder to sign with the free one. **"Let's go to sleep, huh?"**

I nodded. **"I love you."**

" **Me, too."**

 **! #$# !**

 _ **Thanks to those who have favorited this fic within the past week and a half since I've posted. It means a lot that you're trusting it while I'm in the early stages of it. :D**_

 _ **To my first official reviewer,**_ _ **Jaycob11**_ _ **, I'm wondering if your comment about werewolf mic dropping was a good thing? Thank you for your comment! You're great!**_

 _ **Thanks to everyone who's reading this, you're all great.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**~106 ~ 3131**

Driving myself to school was definitely no longer an option. Today, though, it wasn't my fault as Mom hadn't even given me the chance to try a second time. The first thing she did when she woke me up was ask for my car keys. The second thing she did was force me into a dress she had picked out for me the day before while she was shopping.

Standing behind me as she studied me in my full length mirror, Mom did her best to hide her smug smile. Only her best wasn't good enough.

I saw how happy she was being able to control what I wore to school and how I got there. Although, after the stunt I pulled last night by making her and Dad fight, I thought it best to go along with what she wanted with little argument.

Mom pulled my dark hair out of it's French braid and combed her fingers through it. The hairs unfolded into long, large waves and my mother smiled brighter. "You look great." She signed, through the mirror.

" **I feel weird."** I told her, pulling at the hem of the dress in an attempt to make it longer. **"Do I really have to wear this? I looked ridiculous."**

"You look fine."

" **I can't wear my hair like this."** I insisted, seeing how frizzy it looked. **"It's sticking up too much. I look like the bride of Frankenstein."**

Mom scoffed. "Your hair's not dark enough and you don't have the white streak. I will fight to the death before you ever did that." She went to my bathroom, probably rummaging through my cabinets in search of any makeup product that I owned, if I owned any.

I narrowed my eyes and pursed my lips in her direction, knowing her sarcastic quips were just another way to show how upset she was with me. I looked at myself in the mirror again, shaking my head. The dress was a dark green skater dress with three-quarter sleeves. I didn't understand why she'd forced me into a dress anyway. It was high school, not a beauty pageant.

Mom came out of my bathroom, holding an eyeliner pencil in her hand. "Stay still." She signed, taking my face in her hands.

" **Really?"**

Mom nodded, and I sighed, closing my eyes, going along with it. When she finished, she gave me a tap on the shoulder and faced me once again to the mirror.

I sighed, examining myself. I looked enough stranger than I had with just the dress. However, knowing my mother, it wasn't worth the fight.

"Now," Mom started, looking at me directly in my eye, "Go downstairs and eat some breakfast. We're leaving in twenty minutes."

I nodded at her and left my room, being sure to grab my backpack. When I arrived in the kitchen, my father was sitting at the small table, reading a small file folder. I waved at him, going for my cereal, not wanting to talk about what he'd seen last night or the overly emotional moment that the two of us shared. I sat with my breakfast, ate it quietly, and waited for Mom to come downstairs and tell me we were leaving.

Unfortunately, because my mom had to drop me off at school _and_ get to work on time, I ended up at school early. The school was practically empty aside from a couple handfuls of cars. Probably an early morning sports practice or something.

Sitting outside the classroom on the floor in my dress proved itself to be a problem. However, I managed it and pulled out my copy of Heart of Darkness to start reading. I quickly lost myself in the book, though that wasn't hard. The only distraction I had as I sat there in the early morning was my English teacher, who looked rather panicked as she took hurried steps towards the classroom.

Ms. Blake hadn't paid me any mind as she entered her classroom and closed the door behind her.

I stared up at the door, briefly wondering what her problem was, and then returned to my book. About ten minutes later, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the door open again. I looked up and my smile grew, seeing Derek come out of the classroom. Quickly, I got up from my spot on the floor and stepped towards him.

Derek saw me, and he seemed to change in the way he stood. His shoulders lightened and his own smile grew. Derek slowly approached me and waved.

I had to admit that I had missed Derek's smile. I hadn't seen it since he was a kid, before the fire. "So, tell me, is it normal for people of Beacon Hills to hang around high school six years after they've graduated?" I signed.

"Very funny." Derek signed, looking me over. He raised a brow. "What's with the dress?"

I shrunk into myself, and opened my mouth to respond, but a sigh came out. I looked down at the dress. "This is my mom's way of trying to make me better, I guess." I looked to him. "Or she's just trying to control me, I haven't figured it out fully yet."

"Wow."

"Yeah, I know right." I scoffed a laugh. "I look pretty stupid."

Derek shrugged. "I think you look beautiful." He signed.

I felt my face blush as the heat rose to my cheeks. "Thanks." I said to him. "You look better. I take it things went well with...whatever you had to do the other day."

"Uh, yeah." Derek nodded. "Things are okay. My friends are okay." He said, wavering slightly.

I furrowed my brow at him, noticing his lie. "No, they're not." I took a step closer to him. "What happened?"

Derek shook his head with a small smile on his face. "Can't lie to you, can I?"

"When the only thing someone can rely on to tell how a person feels is their body language, they learn to read it well." I explained. "I can't hear a person's distress, but I can see it. And _you_ , there's something bugging you."

"Everything's fine, CJ. I promise."

I didn't believe him, of course, so I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Okay."

Derek grabbed my hand, holding it carefully.

I caught his gaze, watching his lips.

"I just don't want to talk about it."

I looked up at him. In looking about him closer, this time, I saw that he didn't just look different anymore, he _was_ different. I don't think it was seeing me again that did that for him either. In the last year since I've seen him, he's changed. "What's happened to you? Over the past year?"

"A lot. Of nothing." Derek laughed.

I nodded, but still wasn't buying it. "Alright." I smiled.

Derek let out a breath. "How about I take you up on your offer and come over tonight?" He asked, probably trying to get my focus off of him. "That sound good?"

"Yeah. It does." I agreed flatly, going along with his evasive plans. "It'll be nice to get the attention off of me for one night."

Derek smiled and opened his arms for a hug.

I took the final step forward and wrapped my arms around his torso when his tightened around my shoulders. I felt his heartbeat in his chest. When I pulled away, he held me at an arm's length.

"I'll text you tonight and you can pass me the address."

"Are you sure?" I asked, suddenly nervous about the whole thing. "My parents are really intrusive recently and after not hearing from you for a year, they will be all over your case." I shook my head. "And I don't know what else is going on with you, if you've got something else planned."

"If I had something else planned, I wouldn't have offered." Derek insisted. "I'll be there, CJ."

"Promise?" I questioned, thinking of Carter and how he'd said he'd stop by and didn't.

The corner of Derek's mouth, twisted up and he nodded. He leaned forward, kissing my hairline. **"Promise."**

I grinned at him, grateful that he was paying attention to my signing and starting to pick it back up. Behind Derek, the door to the classroom opened, and I glanced around him to see Ms. Blake watching us. I furrowed my brow at her and she quickly turned away, going to her desk. I looked up, seeing Derek looking at her with a curious eye. I tapped his arm. **"How do you know my teacher?"**

Derek looked at me like he got caught doing something he shouldn't have been. "I don't. Not really."

I narrowed my eyes at him, but nodded. "Okay. I'll see you later, right?"

"Yeah." Derek nodded. "I'll see you later." He put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it before walking away.

I took a deep breath, realizing that the school was about to be filled with students and entered the classroom. On my way to my seat, Ms. Blake got my attention and waved me towards her desk. I approached and looked at her questioningly. "Do you have another assignment for me?" I asked her, wondering why she wanted to talk. "You already gave me all the work for this week."

Ms. Blake shook her head and stopped, realizing I wouldn't be able to read her lips. "No, I actually had a quick question. A completely, and totally, unprofessional question."

"Uh, okay?" I said, confused.

"You know Derek?" She asked me.

I nodded. "He's a friend of the family." I told her. "I've known him since I was little."

"Great. So you know?"

I was confused by her question, but I nodded slowly anyway. "Yeah, I know him."

Ms. Blake let out a sigh of relief. "Okay." She said, I guessed to herself. "Do you know if he's seeing anyone?"

I was a little shocked by the question. I opened my mouth to say something, but then I remembered I didn't actually know if he was or not. Suddenly, I thought to everyone he had a relationship and how badly they all ended. Paige, being found dead in the woods, and Kate disappearing after the fire. Derek never seemed to want to talk about either of them, especially Kate.

"I'm sorry." Ms. Blake said quickly, not waiting for the answer to her question. "I really should not be asking you that question. It's really inappropriate." She looked down at the papers on her desk and started to sift through them. Ms. Blake pulled out a stack of papers, stapled together with my name on the top, and held them out to me. "These are next week's lesson plans. She reached behind her to the stack of books on the floor, against the wall. "You'll need this." Ms. Blake handed me the book.

I looked at the cover of The Crucible and then looked back at her.

Ms. Blake showed me a small, innocent smile, but I couldn't help but think she wasn't all that innocent.

I nodded at the teacher though, and took my seat in the front row. Not long after I sat down, Allison and Lydia entered the room. I was sure that Lydia was embarrassed about last night. I felt bad for her, something I thought I would never do. It wasn't her fault that her mom managed to stick her nose too far into somewhere it didn't belong. I could relate, because my mom did that all the time. Hence, my wardrobe for the day.

Behind me, Lydia tapped on my shoulder.

I hadn't really wanted to, but I turned around to face her.

She picked up her hands and started to sign to me. "I'm sorry about…" Lydia trailed off, trying to recall the sign.

" **Last night?"** I asked, showing her the signs.

"Was that the sign for 'last night'?"

"It's not technically one sign, but yes."

Lydia sighed. "My mom is - "

I cut her off, shaking my head. "I know. She thinks what my mom does: that I'm broken and need to be fixed." I pursed my lips. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I realized the first bell was ringing.

"Yeah." Lydia said, wishing she could say something else.

I took in a deep breath, recalling my conversation with my dad last night. I opened my mouth, hesitated, but said it anyway before more people could enter the classroom. "I'm not broken." I told her, strongly. "I'm bruised and sad, but I don't think there's anything wrong with that." From the corner of my eye, I saw Allison turn her head towards me. I shrugged, looking from Lydia to Allison and back. "One day, it won't hurt so much."

Lydia showed me a small smile, "I'm still sorry." She said.

"I forgive _you_." I responded, hoping that she would understand the forgiveness was not extended to her mom. My phone vibrated again and I knew class should be starting soon. I smiled at her and turned back towards the front of the class. I watched as Stiles and Scott trailed in just as the bell was sounding. I shook my head.

Scott met my gaze and quickly looked away.

That was definitely a weird situation and I wanted to ask what his problem really was last night, but I didn't think I'd ever get the chance. I spent the class period, finishing Heart of Darkness and then working on the final assignment for it. I groaned when my phone signalled the class was over. My class with Mr. Harris was next and it was the only class I had to focus on the teacher in. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't just give me the notes for the class. I'd even accept an extra handful of work if he offered it.

Science was hard to follow if you didn't have all the information. The worst part was, Harris never wrote down everything he said, and he faced the chalkboard most of the period. I got to the lab and sat in my seat. I didn't have a partner at my table, mostly because I was hard to work with. I got that. I wasn't offended, but no one really had the balls to try. Except today, seemed to be different.

As I unpacked my books from my bag, a tall, blond boy came in and had plopped himself in the chair next to me without a word. The guy seemed angry and, seeing the look on his face, I didn't even want to ask why.

Class went by slowly. The fact that I was checking the time every two minutes wasn't helping. The chalkboard was full of charts and graphs that I couldn't make sense of. I looked beside me at my partner's notebook, but his notes were no help.

He'd been staring angrily towards the front of the classroom and hadn't written a single thing on his paper.

I sighed, and flipped viciously through my textbook. It was time to teach myself this mess. What shocked me was that after twenty minutes of staying statuesque, the boy next to me moved. I turned my head to look at him as he asked to use the restroom. So, no notes and now he was going to skip out on class altogether? Boy, was I lucky to get such a studious partner. I meant to turn back to my book and read passages on momentum, but I saw Scott stand from his post at the table behind me.

Scott seemed panicked as he asked Harris if he could use the bathroom, too.

I furrowed my brow, putting some small pieces together. Maybe that was why Scott wasn't dating Allison anymore. Maybe he had a thing for my new lab partner. Although, I wasn't sure that I got that vibe from either of them, who was I to judge. I turned away from Scott, not really bothering with what else he had to say. Seeing him last night replayed in my head again.

A couple more moment of Harris talking about stuff that I didn't understand passed and he suddenly stopped. He looked towards the classroom door and walked to it, pushing the door open.

When the rest of the class followed him, I got up, slowly, wondering if I had missed the announcement about the mini-field trip we were taking. However, when the class stopped right outside the door, I pushed through a few people to see what was going on.

Danny was on the floor, comforting one of the twins Lydia was drooling over the other day, and my lab partner was standing over him. The twin's face was bloodied and looked beaten to a pulp.

I seethed, once again proud of my new lab partner's choices, but then I looked closer at my partner. He was confused, but not angry. He looked like he didn't know what had just happened.

Danny helped the twin up and walked him down the hallway, probably towards the nurse.

Harris turned around to the class and spoke to us. "Everybody back inside while I get Isaac a detention slip." The teacher led the class inside, but I stayed.

I noticed Scott eyed me, but I didn't bother saying anything to him. I approached the boy, who I assumed was name Isaac. "Everything okay?" I asked, quietly.

Isaac looked to me, even more confused. "Why are you asking me that?"

"Because you didn't actually just beat the crap out of that kid." I told him, shrugging. I sensed that he was still lost. "Your hands." I pointed, looking down at them. "They aren't as bloody as his face. So either you got really creative when you were bashing his face in, or you didn't do it."

Isaac's stare was blank as he took in what I said. Then his eyes moved over my head for a moment and he looked back to me. "We have to go inside." Isaac said, pointing behind me.

I turned to see Harris standing at the door, with a small scowl on his face. "Sorry, sir."

"I didn't realize you knew Isaac, CJ." Harris said to me before I could enter his classroom.

"I don't." I shrugged. "He's just my lab partner."

Harris nodded, holding out a slip of paper to Isaac, who was waiting behind me to enter the classroom. "Inside before you both have detention."

I nodded, and the two of us moved back to our seats.

Isaac sat and tapped my arm. "You notice things."

"I do." I said, wondering why he was telling me something I knew.

"Thank you." He said, with a smirk. "For realizing I didn't do it."

I nodded. "You're welcome."

 **! #$# !**

 _ **Thanks to everyone who's reading this. I'm feeling really good about this fic and it's making me feel really good about writing! I'm literally spending all my time working on writing. It's my relaxation technique.**_

 _ **Anyway! Thanks to my reviewer for this chapter,**_ _ **HuntressForTheWolves**_ _ **! I have been dying for one of these comments, believe it or not. It's a real compliment! Thanks so much! You're fantastic!**_

 _ **Thanks for reading! And don't forget to review! Or message me! I'm always available and will more than likely always respond.**_

 _ **Love you all!**_


	7. Chapter 7

**~10** **7** **3378**

The rest of the school day was an absolute drag, but in reality, anything was better than being stuck in Chemistry class. Isaac, apparently, didn't grasp much of what was going on in the class either. So, my new lab partner would, literally, be no help.

Mom texted me around the time school was going to let out to let me know she was outside. No surprise to me, of course, because if I couldn't even dress myself this morning, there would be no way I could find my own way home after school.

There wasn't anything I wanted to do, but go home and await Derek's text message to tell me that he was coming over. I really didn't want to wait for it either. It wasn't even that I didn't _want_ to wait, I almost felt like I _couldn't_. To me, Derek was just another piece to my brother that I was incredibly happy to have with me again. After the year without him, I was determined to know him again. I wanted to know who he was now and why he seemed so different.

I didn't bother talking with my mother just yet. I used a massive amount of homework as an excuse for not talking to her until dinner rolled around. I didn't actually have any work to do, so after changing out of the stupid dress and putting on sweatpants, I laid in my bed, passing time. I thought about The Crucible that I had in my backpack. I could finish that, but realized I had been working really hard lately. One night of doing nothing wouldn't hurt.

I was rolled on my side, facing away from the door, just staring. My comforter was thrown over my shoulder and I was cuddling into it, holding it like it was the last thing I had.

The lamp on my bedside table flashed, surprising me.

I furrowed my brow, sighed and pushed myself out of bed. I went to the door, and opened it, seeing my father standing outside. I looked up at him and one side of my mouth turned up. **"Thanks."** I said, motioning to the doorbell I hadn't seen when I came into my room. **"Did you work today?"**

Dad nodded. **"Came home for lunch. The one for the front door is installed, too."**

I smiled and nodded.

Dad turned his head towards the stairs and spoke, before turning back to me. **"Mom says dinner's ready."**

I sighed.

" **It'll go by fine."** Dad assured, gesturing with his hand for me to go in front of him.

I nodded again, letting out a small scoff. I checked my pocket, being sure I had my phone for whenever Derek decided to text me. Before Dad and I got to the stairs, I turned around and stopped him. **"I have a friend coming over tonight. Is that okay?"**

Dad nodded. **"Of course. Who is it?"**

" **Just a friend."** I assured with a small smile. **"You'll see when he gets here."**

" **He?"**

I bit my lip. **"Please don't say anything to Mom yet. I kind of want it to be a surprise."**

" **If I promise, will you tell me who he is?"**

I shook my head.

Dad sighed. **"Alright. But you know the rules about boys. No closed doors."**

I laughed. **"Trust me. That won't be a problem."** After that last word, I finally led us downstairs and into the kitchen, where my mom was waiting at the table.

Mom had made spaghetti and was scooping out piles for all of our plates.

Instantly, I knew that she hadn't made the spaghetti for any other reason than that it was my favorite.

Mom was sucking up to me. Which was incredibly weird because I was the one who had messed up. Shouldn't I be the one grovelling and making her favorite meal?

I didn't even want to know what she was planning. I went to sit, but my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was a text from Derek.

 _What's your address?_ The text had said.

I typed the address into my phone, and then looked to the table in front of me before adding something else. _Would you mind waiting a little longer? I would rather if your first visit didn't involve an awkward, tension-filled spaghetti dinner._

Mom waved her hand in front of my phone. "Phone away, please CJ." She signed. "It's dinnertime."

I nodded, stuffing my phone in my pocket and sitting at the table. I ate a few forkfuls before my phone vibrated again.

 _Good call. Half hour sound good?_ Derek asked.

 _Yup._ I replied, knowing I was pushing the limit with my mom. I put my phone back in my pocket and looked up at her.

Mom's face said it all. Her raised brow and stoic look was not one to be argued with.

" **I'm done now."** I promised her. I began working on my plate again, but it wasn't long until Mom wanted to talk.

"How was school?" Mom asked.

I shrugged. **"It was fine. I finally have a lab partner."**

Mom raised her brow. "Really?"

" **Yeah. He hasn't been in all week, but I don't think he's new. He seemed to know Lydia's friends."**

"So, do you think you two will be friends?"

I took in a large breath, knowing to be patient. **"Maybe."**

"That's good news."

Dad's face changed and he put his fork down to sign. "Did anyone tell you about the body they found?"

I furrowed my brow. **"Body?"**

Dad nodded. "It was on the news. They found some poor kid strangled and tied to a tree just off of the cross country trail through the woods."

Mom reached over and put a hand on Dad's arm. "Strangled?" She signed. "Like that kid at the pool?"

"Maybe." Dad shrugged. "They aren't saying specifically. But I wouldn't doubt it."

"So there's a serial killer?" Mom asked.

I sighed quietly, happy to not have the attention on me. I quietly worked on my plate, finishing it. When I looked up, Mom and Dad were still talking like I wasn't even there. That didn't happen often, but when it did, I was in heaven. I got up from the table, taking all the dishes and leftovers and putting them in their proper place. When I finished, I waved my hand between the two. **"Can I be excused?"**

They both nodded quickly, hardly looking in my direction.

I pursed my lips and ran up the stairs to Carter's room. I could see his old room, clearly in my mind. However, in order for this room to look like that one, I would have to move all the furniture from it's spot in the corner of the room to the areas they should be in. I sighed knowing there was no way I would be able to do this myself. Didn't mean I shouldn't try.

I approached the dresser and tried pushing it away from the side wall. It wouldn't budge, though. The carpet seemed to be holding it in it's place and the furniture wouldn't slide well. I stopped pushing with a huff. I guess, I'd start some place else. I opened the first box I could find.

The first thing I found was Carter's computer bag, something he never went anywhere without. I wasn't the only one surprised when he decided not to take it with him when we went on vacation. Carter had insisted that he didn't need it, so we left home without it.

I went to unzip the case when the door to the room opened. My head shot up towards it and I saw my mom. My eyes widened. That definitely wasn't the person I wanted to walk through that door.

"What are you doing in here?" She asked.

I shook my head, returning the bag to the box. **"Nothing."** I said, quickly walking around her to leave the room.

Mom grabbed my arm and stopped me. "What were you doing in Carter's room?"

" **Nothing."** I repeated, stressing it. I pulled my arm from her grasp and ran down the stairs. On my way down, I noticed that the lights were flickering. I let out a large sigh, realizing that Derek was here. I always thought that boy had good timing. I rush to the door and open it, slightly. "I am so sorry." I whispered before he could say anything.

Derek furrowed his brow at me. "What?"

I pushed the door all the way open and turned back towards the stairs.

Mom had stopped on the bottom floor, frozen, taking in our guest. "Derek?" she questioned.

I was immediately glad that I was the only one who had barely recognized him.

Derek took a step into the house, putting himself between me and my mom, and showed a small wave. "Hey, Mrs. P."

"Oh, my God!" Mom sighed and rushed forward, pulling Derek into the tightest of hugs.

Derek was overwhelmed by the sudden contact, but he hugged her back just as tightly.

I looked at my mom's face, given that I was still standing behind Derek. I saw that she had started to tear up. I couldn't tell though if she was actually crying or not. I took this emotional moment to close the door.

Mom took a step back, placing her hands on both of his shoulders, taking him in just as I had done. "I can't believe you're here." She laughed, shaking her head.

Derek said something to Mom, but his back was to me so I didn't catch it. Whatever he said though, made her tense up real fast.

Mom dropped her hands from him and nodded, taking a step back. "I'm guessing CJ told you."

Derek nodded and looked back at me. He flicked his head towards Mom, begging me to take a step towards him.

I did, and was able to include myself in the conversation.

"The other day," Derek signed, "I was dropping something off at the high school for a friend." He looked over at me. "CJ stopped me, and told me."

Mom nodded, instantly recalling another fact. "How's Laura? Did you find her?"

"I did, but..." Derek shook his head. "She was murdered, last year."

Mom gasped. "I'm so sorry." She took Derek into another quick hug. When Mom pulled away, she looked to me. "CJ, go get your father." She signed.

I nodded and went towards Dad's study. I knocked and opened the door slightly.

Dad waved me in.

I pointed back towards the door when I entered. **"You want to meet my friend?"**

Dad raised his brow. **"I get to meet him?"**

I nodded.

Dad stood and walked over to me. **"Will I like him?"**

" **I think so."** I said with a mischievous grin. **"In fact, I know that you do."**

" **I do?"** Dad asked, now even more curious.

I nodded and led Dad out to the living room, thinking Mom would have ushered Derek there.

Mom sat in her chair.

Derek stood from his spot on the couch when he saw my father turn into the room.

I looked back at Dad, seeing his face light up.

"Well, if it isn't Derek Hale!" Dad signed gleefully.

Derek reached out his hand for Dad to shake.

Dad took the hand, shook it, and then pulled Derek in for a hug.

I smiled at the sight, but I felt a lump form in my throat. I was missing Carter again, knowing that he should be here for this reunion.

Dad pulled away from Derek and gestured back to the couch, ordering him to sit. Dad moved to sit in his own chair across the coffee table from Mom's.

I curled myself into the opposite corner of the couch from Derek, when he took his original seat.

Dad looked to me. "When you said you wanted it to be a surprise, I never would have imagined this."

I shrugged. **"Guess I thought we all needed this."** I looked over at Derek, showing him a smile and nodding my head at him. I felt my eyes tear up and my lip quiver, but I took a deep breath.

Derek passed me a curious look, but I shook my head. He looked to my father. "I'm sorry for your loss." Derek said.

It was that statement that told me that I didn't want to be a part of this conversation. This gathering wasn't about me. It was about Derek and him being a part of the family again. I knew Mom and Dad would want to catch up with him. I also knew I would have my chance; one that wasn't just in passing at the school. I didn't really want to try to keep up with them. It wasn't worth the extra effort to interpret for Derek. I would find all of this out when he was ready to tell me. I also couldn't get my mind of Carter and the promise I had made to him. I hadn't done a very good job of getting his room in order so far. The quicker I got that done, the quicker I could see him again.

My eyes shot to Derek, and then to his arms. He was strong. Derek had always been strong. He could help me and I was certain that he would.

Derek looked at me curiously, causing my face to blush. It was the same look he had this morning when I saw him outside Ms. Blake's room.

I looked away, towards my mom.

Mom pursed her lips and lifted her hands. "What are you _really_ doing here, Derek?" she asked.

Derek turned away from me finally. "I'm here to catch up with CJ. Check in, make sure she's okay." Derek admitted. "I think Carter would have wanted that."

I looked over to Derek and then back at my mom. I sighed, and pushed myself to sit on the edge of the couch. **"I also had a question."**

Mom raised her brow.

" **I…"** I paused, nervous to even ask. **"I wanted to know if I could unpack Carter's room."**

Mom's jaw dropped and she immediately started to shake her head.

Dad stopped her though. He turned to me, wanting me to continue.

" **I don't want his stuff in boxes."** I told them. **"I'm not ready for his things to be in boxes."**

Mom continued to shake her head. "I was actually going to suggest tonight that we start donating it."

I scoffed. **"Donating?"** I asked, making sure I understood correctly. I shook my head. **"We can't donate it. I'm not ready. We need to keep it and unpack it. We can donate it when I'm ready."**

"I'm not sure you'll ever be ready." Mom said boldly.

I looked over at my dad.

"Let's calm down." He signed.

" **I need Carter's things unpacked."** I looked over at Derek. **"And I was really hoping Derek would help me."**

Mom raised her brow to Derek. "Did you know about this?" she asked.

Derek looked dumbfounded. He laughed and shook his head. "I'm hardly keeping up."

"CJ wants to unpack Carter's things." Dad told him. "And I think it's a great idea."

I smiled at my dad and then looked to Derek. **"Will you help me?"** I signed, seeing that my dad had started to interpret what I was signing. **"I just know that Carter was like your brother, too. You and I were probably the people who knew him best. It's something he would want."** From the corner of my eye, I saw my Mom jump out of her chair. I quickly turned towards her.

"Will you just speak, please?!" Mom screamed, even knowing that I couldn't hear her.

I looked up at her, my head shaking slightly.

Mom was fuming. Her face was red and she was breathing heavily. "I am tired of you not talking!" She signed. "Use your voice."

My eyes narrowed and I clenched my jaw. I stood and moved around Mom.

Mom grabbed my arm, tighter than she had at the top of the stairs.

I stopped, looking down at her hand and then up at her.

"What are you doing?" Mom didn't sign, but I could read her lips.

" **I'm going to unpack Carter's things."** I told her before clearing my throat. "I. Need. This." I stressed, catching her off guard by speaking.

Mom's grip loosened on my arm and I pulled free.

My eye's met Derek's.

Derek looked to my dad, wondering what he should do.

Dad gestured for Derek to go with me.

Derek nodded and got up from the couch, following me upstairs to Carter's room. Derek took in the room, seeing everything in random piles.

I couldn't help but stare down at my arm as it turned red. I saw Derek's hands come towards my arm and stepped back, holding my arm to my chest.

"Are you okay?" he signed.

I nodded, unable to form words. I held up my finger, showing that I needed a minute.

Derek nodded. "You want this room like it was back East?"

I looked up at him and nodded.

Derek walked over to the dresser that I had tried to move and lifted it like it was nothing. He put it in the right place and then grabbed another piece of furniture. Derek kept going until all he had left to move was the bed, and that he couldn't move on his own.

I started to help him, grabbing one side of the frame, moving it with Derek.

Derek put the box spring and mattress down.

I looked to him for a second. "How bad is it?" I asked. "The fighting?"

Derek shook his head, shaking it off. "It's not that bad."

I nodded, even though I knew he wasn't telling me truth, and looked around the room.

"The hard part is over." Derek said.

"I don't think so." I said quietly, sitting on the bed. "I've been dreading going through these things." I gestured to the boxes.

Derek sighed. "That's why I'm here, right?" He asked, earning a nod from me. Derek grabbed a different box from the one I had started in earlier and brought it to the bed. He opened the box and sat next to me.

I stared at the box for a moment before moving to my knees and looking down in it. The thing on top was his Beacon Hills Basketball hoodie. I took the fabric in my hands and held it tightly. I brought it to my face, taking in the smell. All I could sense was my brother. I had a hard time, holding it together.

Derek put his hand on my arm.

I sat back on my heels and looked over at him. I let out a sharp sigh that might have been a sob.

"Are you okay?" Derek asked.

"I'm getting tired of people asking me that."

Derek nodded, understanding. "Okay, I won't ask."

I bit my lip. "Can I ask you one thing without you answering vaguely?" I questioned. "Can I get a straight answer?"

Derek looked like he was thinking it over for a moment. He nodded.

"How exactly did you feel after your family died? After Laura died?" I asked. "Because since Carter died, all I feel is empty." My lip quivered and I felt my voice waiver. "Something's missing and I have a strong hope that hole will fill itself, but I don't know if I can feel like this until it does."

Derek sighed and sat back against the headboard. "I was just like you. But, for me, I still don't think that hole has filled."

I let out a hard breath, wishing he hadn't said it like that. I shook my head. "I don't know how to get through this."

"You will." Derek insisted. "I'm gonna help you." He promised. "Okay?" Derek held out his hand for me.

I grabbed his hand, holding the sweatshirt in my other.

Derek pulled me against him, holding my head to his chest. His arm went around my shoulders and he let me cry.

I cried hard into the sweatshirt, clinging to it for dear life. The tears just kept coming and I didn't even remember falling asleep.

 **! #$# !**

 _ **Wow, how was that chapter? I'm an emotional wreck. Especially having just watched S5E16: Lie Ability. I won't spoil it if you haven't watched it, but I'm pretty sure that I'm dead.**_

 _ **To**_ _ **Nanda21**_ _ **: Thanks for catching up! And thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Hope you liked the chapter!**_

 _ **To**_ _ **daniellea22**_ _ **: Okay, so I'm not going to lie to you, mostly because I have no reason to. But I got the email about your review on my way to work and I was so anxious to read it, mostly because I do have so little reviews and the review emails always give me joy. When I parked my car, I read your review and I, literally, started crying in the parking lot. I am so grateful for your review, I really am. You are so amazing for saying those things. I have been trying really hard to write in the first person (which I don't often do because it's SO HARD) because I feel like that's the only way I can get the**_ **real CJ** _ **, you know? God, I want to say more because I'm so thankful, but I don't really know what else to say. Yours was probably one of the best reviews I've ever had. Thanks so much for your appreciation! Hope you enjoyed the chapter!**_

 _ **To my silent readers, thanks so much for reading and following. I hope you guys wouldn't be so silent! I want to know what you all think! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Thanks again for reading!**_


	8. Chapter 8

**~10** **8** **~ 32** **82**

When I woke up the next morning, I was in my own bed. I also was alone, Derek nowhere in sight. I sighed and sat up in bed, looking around the room. A big part of me was a little upset that he would have bailed after carrying me to my room. I didn't find a note and I wasn't left with a text message, Derek was just gone. Carter's sweatshirt was balled up in my hand and I decided that it would be part of my wardrobe for school. I also remembered that I didn't have car keys so I would need a ride if I wanted to avoid my mother.

I sent Lydia a text asking her if she could pick me up on her way to school. Once it was sent, I changed into another pair of jeans and a tshirt, throwing the sweatshirt on overtop.

 _I'm already at the school. Stiles lives a few houses down. Can I ask him if he'll get you?_ Lydia responded.

 _Anything to get away from my mother._ I joked. Then I brushed my teeth and grabbed my backpack to go downstairs.

 _Stiles will be there in a couple minutes._

 _Thanks!_ I walked down the stairs after sending the last message. I avoided my mother's gaze and her likely questions about why I was wearing Carter's hoodie. I walked around the kitchen table, giving my father a quick hug around his shoulders. I also needed breakfast, so I grabbed a granola bar from the cabinet and a water bottle from the fridge before exiting the house without another word.

Thankfully, Stiles pulled up to my house moments later.

I waved at him and then pushed myself into his ratty Jeep. After closing the door, I looked over at him. "Thanks for picking me up."

"No problem." He said before he pulled away from the curb.

I stared out the windshield for a long while, not really knowing what to say to the boy that I didn't know. Well, I guess I might have known him. I knew that he liked to Google search some really weird shit. Halfway to the school, I turned my head towards him.

Stiles was talking animatedly, moving his free arm in circles with his words. He was caught mid-sentence and I realized I had no idea he had been talking to me.

"You do remember that I'm deaf, right?" I asked him, interrupting him. I turned in my seat so I could look at him straight on and pay attention to how his lips moved.

Stiles looked caught. "Uh, well, yes. And no." He admitted. "Not in that moment."

I tightened my lips into a straight line and nodded once.

"Sorry." Stiles said.

"It's okay. It happens a lot, actually." I told him. I paused for a moment before speaking again. "So, what were you saying?"

Stiles glanced to me and then back to the road. "I was wondering about your hoodie. Basketball hasn't really been a thing at Beacon Hills in a long time."

"It's, uh, it's my brother's. He graduated from Beacon Hills, like, six years ago."

"You have a brother?" Stiles asked, legitimately surprised.

I guessed that Lydia hadn't told him anything about me. I thought for a moment, wondering what I should say to him. "I do." I decided.

Stiles nodded, before catching onto something more. "Wait, you used to live here?"

I shrugged. "I think that's implied with my comment about my brother graduating from here."

"Right." Stiles didn't say anything else after that. He spent the rest of the time, driving in silence.

When we got to the school, I got out of the Jeep, starting my trek inside. "Thanks for the ride." I called. What I didn't expect was for Stiles to run to get in front of me.

Stiles stopped himself a couple steps in front of me, not allowing me to go any further up the path.

I looked at him confused, and cocked my head to the side. "Yes?"

Stiles pulled both straps of his backpack onto his shoulders. "Look, I know that for whatever reason you can't drive right now. I also know, you're hard up for a ride."

I opened my mouth to respond, but Stiles kept going.

"Lydia told me that you were practically desperate."

I groaned, rolling my eyes at the statement. "No, she didn't."

"She did." Stiles laughed nervously.

I started to twist my hands together, moving them around wildly with my nerves. "I'm really not desperate." I pleaded with Stiles, hoping he'd hear me. "I promise, I just really didn't want to - "

"Hey," Stiles said, grabbing my hands to hold them still. "Whatever it is, it's your business."

I stared down at his hands for a moment, before he shook them, moving my attention back to his lips.

"I live just a couple houses down, so if you want a ride, all you have to do is ask."

I shook my head. "Look, Stiles, thanks for today, and for the offer. But I'm okay. Thanks." I hurried around Stiles, pushing myself into the school on a mission. I couldn't believe that Lydia would say that to this kid. She didn't know me and I didn't really know Stiles. Who was she to tell him that I was desperate?

Finally, I spotted Lydia at her locker. The door to it was opened, blocking my view of the redhead. I walked up to her angrily. "What the hell, Lydia?"

Lydia closed her locker door, meeting my gaze. "What?"

"Telling Stiles that I was desperate for a ride? Are you kidding?"

Lydia bit her lip, pointing to CJ. "He wasn't supposed to tell you that."

"Yeah, well, he did. And, for some reason, I'm really glad that he did." I told her. "I don't need him to pity me, Lydia."

"I know." Lydia signed. "I didn't mean desperate like you were sad desperate. I just meant it in that you _really_ needed a ride."

"I don't need you telling people anything about me."

"I didn't tell him anything." Lydia said. "I just said that you needed a ride. Not that you needed a lay."

"Lydia!" I gasped, hoping that it was as quiet as I wanted it to be.

Lydia sighed. "Stiles is a nice guy, alright. I just thought that you could use a few friends."

I shook my head at her. "I don't want your help making friends. I don't _need_ your help, okay?" I calmed myself with a deep breath. "You can't offer me up to Stiles thinking that I'm just going to be friends with your friends."

"I'm sorry."

I nodded. "He is a good guy." I relented. "But I don't want a pity friend. If Stiles wants to be friends with me, he should do it because he wants to. Not because you told him to."

"You are definitely right." Lydia told me.

"Good. Glad we agree on that." I smiled, before turned to go to class.

Lydia put a hand on my arm to stop me.

I turned back to her, raising my brow to her.

"But you should know that he's been asking me about you."

I scoffed at her, certainly not believing that.

"I'm serious." Lydia smirked, leaning against her locker. "I haven't told him anything, not even about your brother. That doesn't mean that he's not asking."

"If he wants to know anything about me, it's because I'm the new girl he knows nothing about." I reminded her. "I'm the shiny, new toy that he wants to know, but there's nothing all that interesting about me that he should know."

"What?" Lydia questioned. "There's so much that's interesting about you, CJ. I mean, you know sign language."

I narrowed my eyes at her, confused. "Because I'm deaf, not because I chose it as an elective."

"Still, CJ, you're so great. And you're beautiful. Who wouldn't want to know you?"

I laughed at her. "Okay, I'm gonna go to class before you start pimping me out to any of your other friends."

"CJ…"

"Please, don't." I stopped, practically begging her. "I don't even want to think about boys, okay? Yes, Stiles is nice, but we can't…" I sighed, trying to come up with the words. "I have a hard enough time keeping up in normal conversation with you, and you actually know a few signs. I get the jist of what you say, but Stiles doesn't know anything."

"Yet." Lydia said, giving her some hope.

"He doesn't even sit still long enough for me to be able to read his lips." I admitted to her. "I learned that on the way here."

Lydia shrugged. "Give him a chance."

I formed my lips into a straight line, shaking my head. "I'm not sure if I can." My phone vibrated in my pocket and then Lydia turned her ear up at the first bell.

Lydia showed me a small smile and sighed. "Let's go." she said, grabbing my arm to pull me towards class.

I took my normal seat in front of Lydia and unpacked all of my things, waiting for Ms. Blake to enter and class to start, before I started on my own work.

As usual, I saw Stiles and Scott stride in just as the late bell rang. Stiles passed me a dorky smile and a wave through the strap of his backpack.

I nodded at him once, feeling the blush rise to my cheeks. I sucked both lips between my teeth and turned to look at Lydia.

Lydia raised a brow and tilted her head, trying to hide her smile.

I let out a long breath and turned back to the front. I wasn't able to focus on my work during class. Not that it mattered, since I was at least a week ahead of everyone else in my work. But I couldn't get what Lydia said out of my mind. I couldn't get Stiles out of my mind. What did Stiles ask Lydia about? Was he pestering her with questions right now? Why would Stiles want to know things about me anyway? Of course, the thought had crossed my mind that he was just a curious kid. It made sense if his father was the sheriff. Stiles would have a natural paranoia about him. Maybe he was afraid of me, because I was new and talking to Lydia. Maybe he was, yet, another guy that would chose Lydia.

My phone vibrated in my lap and I started packing up my things. A moment later, everyone else around me started moving to pack their things. A slip of paper appeared on my desk on my right. I looked at it and then tilted my head up to see where it came from.

Stiles stood next to my desk.

I furrowed my brow at him. "What?"

Stiles opened his mouth to talk, but then stopped. He turned behind him, pulling the kid out of the desk next to me and taking his seat. Stiles turned to face me. "It's my phone number." He said, pointing at the paper. "There's no pressure to use it, but if you do end up needing a ride, you can text me."

I glanced down at the paper on my desk and then looked back to him. I was shocked. First, by the fact that I was actually holding a paper with his phone number on it. And, second, because he got level with me so I might understand him better. I felt the corner of my lips pull up just slightly. "Thanks."

Stiles nodded softly. He pushed himself out of the desk and he left with Scott following him.

Scott passed me a curious look that I couldn't quite place.

Lydia tapped my shoulder. Both she and Allison were looking at me with smirks on their faces.

"What?"

"Pick your jaw off the floor, sweetheart." Lydia joked.

"Wh - ?" I laughed nervously and shook my head. My eyes shot to Allison.

"It's just a phone number." Allison insisted, getting up from her desk.

"I know." I followed suit, pulling the strap of my backpack over my shoulder. I went to leave, but then stopped, looking to Lydia. "You didn't talk to him about what I said to you this morning, did you?"

Lydia shook her head. "Of course not."

I nodded, wondering why there was such a change in him. "Okay. I'll see you later." Finally, I left Blake's classroom and headed towards Harris'. I definitely wasn't excited for his class. I couldn't wait for this semester to be over, so I won't have to deal with him anymore. However, when I got to the classroom, Harris wasn't at his desk like he normally was. Instead, there was a substitute teacher, sitting in the chair and watching each of us come in. I took my seat next to Isaac and passed him a smile.

Once everyone was seated, the substitute got up and faced the chalkboard, writing her name on it.

I noticed her jaw was moving as if she was talking and leaned over towards Isaac. "What is she saying?" I asked him, watching his lips.

"Harris isn't in class today, so we're working with our partners to make a study guide."

"Did she say why Harris is out?" I asked curiously. I figured that Harris wasn't the kind to just not show up for work for any reason.

Isaac shrugged. "No clue."

I studied his face, wondering whether or not that he was telling the truth. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Scott waving some papers at me. I narrowed my eyes at him. "What's that?" I questioned.

"They're my notes." Scott said. "Well, copies of my notes."

"Why are you waving copies of your notes at me?"

"I copied them for you. I noticed that you were struggling yesterday to keep up. You get written notes from teachers in all your other classes, but Harris was an ass."

I caught his terminology, tilting my head to the side. "Was?"

"Is." Scott said quickly. "I said is."

I nodded. "Right. That actually makes more sense." I told him. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Scott insisted. "You can't help it."

I showed him a half smile, reaching for the papers. "Thank you." I said, looking them over. The notes were surprisingly detailed, much more than I had expected them to be. I passed Scott an appreciative look, knowing he was still looking my way. I turned back to my table and started working on making a study guide with Isaac. I had a hard time focusing. The paper with Stiles' phone number on it was burning a hole in my pocket. The fact that Derek left without a word last night and I still hadn't heard from him was burning a hole in my brain. I hadn't really gotten to talk about him like I had wanted to. Instead, I freaked out on him. In my nervousness about the situation, I texted him, asking him if he wanted to come over again tonight.

Problem was, he didn't text me back. So, I decided not to fuss over it, and instead tried to get through the rest of the day.

 **! #$# !**

Lydia drove me home from school afterwards. I turned down an offer to study with her, knowing I didn't really want to work on homework this weekend. I needed to work on getting Carter's room together. Although, I wasn't going to tell her that. In all honesty, I hoped that no one else should find out. As normal as Carter said this grieving process would be, it didn't exactly feel normal. It felt almost like I was building up a shrine for him.

I grabbed the box that Derek and I had started on last night and emptied it onto the bed. It was all clothes, so I folded them up and stuffed them in the empty drawers. When I reached for another box, I turned towards the door and saw Derek was standing in the doorway. I gasped and took a step back. "What are you doing here?" I signed at him.

"You asked me to help." He said, holding up his cellphone.

"You never texted back. I assumed you weren't coming." I told him.

"Sorry. I got busy. But I'm here." Derek smiled. "What can I do?"

I looked at him, trying my best to hide my smile. "How about this?" I asked. "As we unpack, we get you back up to par with your signing."

Derek hesitated, scrunching his face skepticism.

"Don't be like that. You were signing for years before you moved away. You'll pick it right back up. Like riding a bike."

Derek and I spent an hour or two unpacking and we still only managed to get to a couple boxes.

I wasn't upset that it was taking so long. The only reason it was is because we couldn't sign and unpack things at the same time. I would stop him and quiz him on whatever item he was holding at the moment. It was certainly a process.

"I told you this would be easy." I signed.

" **Easy?"** Derek signed, copying my actions to make sure he had it right. He walked over to Carter's bed and sat on it, leaning against the headboard.

I nodded, letting him know he was correct. I moved myself, sitting at the foot of the bed, facing him.

"I never said it wouldn't be easy." Derek said. "Just that it would be challenging."

"It's always challenging. Even if you hadn't ever done it before. I'm sure you remember how frustrated I was for the first few weeks after I started going deaf."

"Trust me, I remember. You were a nightmare."

"I wasn't that bad. Somehow, you were a natural. You managed to help me." I laughed. "And now, I'm helping you. Kinda funny, huh?"

Derek nodded. His eyes caught something behind me, and then he pointed past me.

I turned around in my spot to see Dad. I smiled up at him. "Hi, Daddy."

Dad waved, stepping into the room, coming closer to the bed. "Hey, you two." He looked around the room. "You've got some good progress."

I shrugged. "Derek's a big help."

"Well, it looks great." Dad looked at Derek, showing him an appreciative nod. He looked down at me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "Your mom is with Aunt Natalie tonight." Dad said, making me release a heavy sigh of relief. "So, I was thinking about getting a pizza. Think Derek can stick around?"

I smiled. "He can if he remembers one of the signs for pizza." I said, looking to Derek. "It's really easy."

Derek thought for a moment, and then signed.

I nodded, turning back up to my dad. "He can stay."

"Good." Dad said. He pointed at Derek. "You still good with anything?"

Derek nodded.

"Thanks!" I looked back to Derek as my dad left the room. "Can I get serious for a moment?"

"Sure."

"Dad won't tell you, but he really appreciates that you're here." I said, making Derek nod. "It's been different since...it happened."

"I know. I've been there."

I looked down at my lap. "It also means a lot that you're learning to sign again. To me, I mean." I admitted, looking back up at him. "Without many others who do around here, I'm glad I've got you. I know I've been giving you hell trying to get you back into it, but thanks."

Derek could really say anything back, but he smiled.

Seeing him smile made me happy. I was so glad that he was happy again.

 **! #$# !**

 _ **So I wasn't going to post this until Tuesday, but some pretty awesome stuff just went down on The Walking Dead and I'm still trying to come down from the exhilaration high. You guys got incredibly lucky!**_

 _ **No reviews this week, so I'll go ahead, say one more thing and close out.**_

 _ **I'm sorry for taking so long to post again. I'm trying to keep both my Teen Wolf fics at the same episodes so I don't get confused. And obviously because CJ isn't a part of everything that's going on in this chapter's episode (which is in between Unleashed and Frayed) it's a lot less than what's going on in my other fic with Spencer.**_

 _ **Thanks to everyone for reading!**_


	9. Chapter 9

**~10** **9** **3086**

Derek had to go a little after we all had pizza. He and I managed to talk a little bit about our lives. Derek had convinced me that he wasn't alone. He had friends. Derek visited his uncle, Peter, often. Peter was the only one in his family to survive the fire and he barely did. He was completely covered in burns. I remembered Peter. He liked to pick on me because I was small. He called me 'Runt' and I absolutely hated it, so I started to call him 'String Bean'. I always thought that maybe I wasn't too small, but that he was too tall.

After talking about himself, Derek wanted to talk about me. How the last year had been back in the city and how being back in Beacon Hills was treating me. Derek knew most of how it was here for me because he had been around. And after my crying fit that night and my mom's hostility, he knew exactly how things were. Derek tried to talk about it anyway, but I probably wasn't as open as he wanted me to be.

I actually fell asleep last night wishing had had talked with him more. I couldn't stress how much Derek had changed. The Derek I knew a year ago wouldn't ever have sat down and listened to me complain. Even if I had begged him, he was always so closed off and emotionless after the fire. But this time, Derek _offered_ to listen to all the petty details and I had turned him down. Some friend I had been.

Maybe Derek knew that I didn't really want to talk about me. He hadn't wanted to talk after the fire. Not that he actually could since I couldn't actually hear him talk. Maybe this was one of those times when it was the thought that counted.

Lydia had checked in with me over the weekend. It was strange to have her caring the way that she was. We didn't talk for long and when she did text me, it was in spurts. Lydia had apparently been on a road trip with Allison, following Scott, Stiles, Isaac, and another kid named Boyd to their cross country meet. When she had told me that I was confused. I mean, Stiles had stressed that he and Lydia wouldn't ever be a thing and Allison and Scott were broken up. Why would they be driving for hours just to see the guys run for a couple minutes? It wasn't really my drama to worry about, but that didn't mean that I wasn't curious.

Especially about Stiles. I was still wondering if his patience the last time I saw him was influenced by Lydia. She told me that she didn't say anything to him, but how could I believe that? It was all just too weird. Literally an hour before Stiles sat down to talk to me about asking for a ride to school, I had complained to Lydia about how he couldn't sit still long enough to talk to me. That couldn't have been coincidence.

For a second, I had wished they Lydia had invited me along on the road trip. That was definitely something I never thought I would want. I knew that I shouldn't trap myself in Carter's room all weekend, but I wanted to see him again. The sooner I could put his room back together, the sooner I could go back to the graveyard to visit.

It certainly wasn't a sane thing to do, and I still didn't believe that it was happening. Seeing Carter, hearing and talking to him, that was real. It had to be. I knew I was grieving, but I hoped that I wasn't too far gone that I was seeing things.

The last day of the weekend had rolled around and I finally finished Carter's room. It was late in the day as I sat on the bed, looking around and admiring my work. I smiled to myself and then closed my eyes to take a deep breath. I could feel the lump growing in my throat as I started to think about Carter.

We were almost home. He had graduated and we would have come back to Beacon Hills after the summer. Carter was almost here, living in the room that he would have unpacked. Things would be so different. With Carter here, I probably wouldn't be fighting with Mom. I would probably be driving out of town to a deaf school, not minding the drive because I knew when I got back, Carter would be around. I'd be happier. Things would be okay. Derek would have his best friend back and we could all be a family again.

When I opened my eyes, I knew that it was all a fantasy. Carter was six feet under at Beacon Hills Cemetery. I had unpacked the room around me. I wasn't talking to my mother. I was going to a school I hated because I couldn't stand the thought of being in a car alone with my thought for an hour to the deaf school. I wasn't happy exactly. Things weren't really okay. Derek's moved on with his new friends. My family was cold now.

Things aren't the same without Carter.

After dinner, I told my parents I was going for a walk, promising that I would be back before it got too late. I finished the room and I needed to see my brother.

The second I arrived at the cemetery, I stopped. I looked around, making sure no one was there. It was still light out, and as normal as it might have been for someone to talk to a lost loved one, I didn't want anyone to see me talking to myself. I marched towards his gravestone, calling his name.

"Carter!" I whispered, turning my head, wondering where he'd pop up this time. "Carter!"

"You're gettin' real good at this summoning thing, June-Bug." The voice said, scaring me.

I jumped and turned on my heels. In front of me, I saw Carter, leaning against a large headstone in the shape of an angel. I smiled and sighed at the sight of him. "Considering I don't really know what I'm doing, I'll just go ahead and take that as a compliment."

"Good." Carter looked up at the angel gravestone, admiring it's wings. He pushed off and walked towards me. "I'm a little bummed Mom and Dad didn't spring for this one."

I scoffed. "Yeah, right. I'm sure if they had you would have haunted them or something." I stopped, thinking for a moment. "Can you haunt someone? Aren't you technically a ghost?"

Carter furrowed his brow. "I haven't tried. Even if I did, I haven't figured out how to leave the graveyard. There's really no fun in haunting something that can haunt you back."

"Other people come here, too. You could try haunting them."

"Not sure I want to scare the crap out of someone who's visiting someone just like you are." Carter said.

I nodded, pulling my lips into a straight line. "Good point."

"Wanna sit?"

"Sure." I said shrugging.

"Follow me." Carter led me to a small garden on the edge of the cemetery.

When I say small, I mean it. That didn't mean it wasn't pretty. In the middle of the small flower beds was a small trail leading to a single bench. I sat down on the bench and looked around. A trellis was perched over the bench, giving me a small shade from the setting sun. "It's pretty here."

"I thought so, too." Carter agreed, sitting in the spot next to me.

I decided to sit in a comfortable silence for a couple moments before bombarding him with things I wanted to tell him. I wanted to spend time with him without everything else.

"Did you finish?" He asked after a while.

"Your room?" I asked, getting a nod from him. "Yeah. I just finished."

Carter laughed and shook his head. "It's been four days, Juney."

I shrugged. "You're kind of a minimalist, bro." I told him. "You didn't have much that you didn't need."

"Very true." He paused, turning away from me. "Now that you've got it cleaned up, I need you to do something."

"How much do you want me to do for you exactly?" I asked him, curiously. "I mean, if it's more than just one more thing can you just give me a 'To Do' list?"

"June, none of this is for me. This is all stuff that you need to do for you." Carter stressed, making me feel instantly bad. Even in his death, this guy was trying to take care of me. It wasn't enough that he saved my life causing his death.

I shook my head. "Carter - "

"My laptop." He interrupted. "I kept a, uh, I guess it's a journal." Carter said, his brows, pushing together. "On my laptop, there's a folder of different entries. Hundreds, sorted by date."

"That's what is on your laptop?" I asked, incredulously. "Your life story?"

Carter shook his head at me then caught my eyes. "It's more than that. It's…." he sighed. "It's really hard to explain." Carter looked at me.

I studied him, though, not responding and waiting for him to continue.

Carter scrunched up his face, noticing that I wasn't going to back down from waiting for him to keep talking. "Alright, put it this way. In the documents there are stories about things that I've seen. True stories. Or at least, they were true most of the time."

I narrowed my eyes at him, having a hard time following what he was saying.

"God." Carter groaned. "When I was sleeping, I would see things and then I typed them up."

"So, it's a dream journal."

Carter waivered, not sure that was the right term for it. "Not really."

"How am I supposed to do this for you if I don't understand what I'm doing."

"Look, just go home. Get my computer and find the files. Read them."

"You want me to read your dream journal?" I asked. I could tell that my lack of understanding was frustrating for him. It was weird though because Carter hardly ever was frustrated, with me especially.

Carter pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's not a dream journal." He said, quickly.

"Then what is it?"

"I can't tell you."

I scoffed. "Can't or won't?" I questioned, turning in the bench to face my body to him. "You know exactly what these 'entries' are and yet you won't tell me. You're not doing a very good job and convincing me to do this. Even if you do believe this will help me, I can't if I'm confused as to why." I stared at Carter as he stared at me. I could feel my shoulders lift up and down as I breathed heavily in my aggravation.

Finally, Carter relented. "I don't want to tell you what they are because you won't believe me." He saw me go to argue and stopped me. "I know you won't because you still don't believe that we're talking right now."

I furrowed my brow. I had to admit that he was right, even if it was still the smallest part of me that had doubts about him being in front of me. "Alright. I'll check it out. I just really hope that your journal won't tell me you're a vampire or something. I've watched enough Vampire Diaries to know that doesn't bode well for anyone."

Carter laughed, but didn't respond.

That made me nervous. I narrowed my eyes, quickly turning to look at him. "You're not a vampire, right?"

"No." Carter shook his head. "I'm not a vampire."

I let out a relieved breath. "Good. One more question, though, and I'll stop bugging you."

"You're not bugging me June-Bug." Carter insisted. "I love havin' you around."

"Okay, still." I told him, not totally believing it. "This isn't some unfinished business ploy, right? I mean, I'm not gonna be telling some girl how you'll always love her or burying any bodies?"

"No." He looked down at his lap. "It's shouldn't be a surprise that I kept a lot of secrets. I shouldn't have. I should have told you, but I couldn't. Now, I need to because I want you to know."

I looked at him. I could tell, without a doubt, that my brother was nervous. This was eating away at him. I didn't know if it was because of the journal itself or what he had to say in it.

I couldn't even begin to think about what it could be. Did he have a secret kid? Did he dream about the future? Or even the past? Did he dream in cartoon? Was it some kind of crazy literotica story he'd been keeping to? As crazy as the ideas that came to mind were, I didn't know what to expect from Carter. I let out a breath. "Well I already told you that I'd check it out." I told him. "Keeping it from Mom, though, that will be a challenge."

"You'll have to. You can't tell anyone."

"Not sure that I'll want to anyway." I admitted. "Whatever you're trying to tell me sounds incredibly farfetched."

Carter slapped his palms to his knees. "Let's not talk about it anymore. How's school?"

"Do you really wanna know?" I asked him, realizing that that was a long train he'd be jumping on.

"Of course." Carter said, turning his head to smile at me.

I laughed at him. Then I told him everything. I told him about Lydia and how we were getting along. I told him about how difficult school was and the new friends I was making. Isaac and Scott's helpfulness in my science class. I told him about Stiles and how he'd offered to drive me to school. I talked to him until it looked like he'd had enough. After, I sent him a quick goodbye, secretly wishing I could hug him.

The walk home was more nerve wracking than the walk to the cemetery. All I could think about was what could be on Carter's computer. The second I got home, I didn't hesitate. I went straight up the stairs to Carter's room and pulled out his laptop case. I sat down on his bed, staring at the bag, trying to psyche myself up to opening it.

I let out a long, hard breath and unzipped the bag, opening the computer. As the computer booted up, I waited. I stared. I went through all the options to what was on the machine over and over again. Just as the computer turned on, I saw my mother appear at the door.

Mom raised her hands. "What are you doing with Carter's computer?" She signed.

I tried incredibly hard not to roll my eyes and looked to her. **"I wanted to see if he left some profound secret book that he'd been working on."**

Mom didn't look convinced as her eyes narrowed in my direction.

Of course, she wouldn't believe me. **"It's the only thing that makes sense. He was always so attached to this thing."**

Mom took a couple steps into the room. "You know I'm not at all happy about this." She shared, looking around the room for a moment. "But your father said that it should help you."

" **It is."** I insisted. **"Everything's moved just so quickly since he died. This is one thing I have."**

"I still don't understand." Mom signed. "You need to move on. You need to pack all this up and start over. It's one of the reasons why I thought it best to move back to Beacon Hills."

I shook my head at her. **"Could you just go, please?"** I asked her. **"I don't want to fight. I had a really good day and I don't want any of this to ruin it."**

"Maybe you need to talk to someone."

I laughed at her. I grabbed the computer, closing it and holding it to my chest. Walking right passed my mother, I went to my own room, slammed the door and locked it. I didn't need any of that. I didn't need her to tell me everything that I _didn't_ want to hear. There wasn't anything wrong with me. I missed my brother. Even though I saw him twenty minutes ago at Beacon Hills Cemetery.

Oi. Maybe I did need to talk to someone.

I opened the computer once more and laughed at the background picture. It was of him and me on my birthday, just seven months before he died. I stood behind him, hugging him around his neck as he took the selfie himself. I smiled at it, wishing I could go back for just a couple minutes.

To get back on task, I shook my head. I opened up way too many folders until I found it. The folder was buried deep in other folders. Carter probably hoped that no one would ever find it if they were just using the computer to check their facebook page.

I took a deep breath and hovered the cursor over the first document. It was dated his eighteenth birthday six years ago, a little after we'd moved across the country. "Now or never." I whispered to myself. I double-clicked the icon and a window popped up. It wasn't the document though. It was a box asking for a password.

I pushed my brows together and clicked on a different file. Still, the same thing happened. I did the same to a few more files but they all popped up with the same query. I dropped my shoulders.

How could he have given me this job to do and not given me the damn password? I hoped he didn't expect me to figure this password out. I was definitely no detective. I paused, thinking of another idea. I got out of bed and gathered my backpack, digging through it to find the piece of paper that had Stiles' phone number on it. After struggling to find it, I emptied the contents of the bag onto my bed, finding the paper had been crumpled up at the bottom.

I held up the paper in victory and pulled out my phone, texting Stiles to ask if he would pick me up for school tomorrow. If I couldn't figure out a way to get into the computer, maybe he could.

 **! #$# !**

 _ **Sorry if it's been a hot minute since I posted, but I'm trying!**_

 _ **This chapter is partly a filler, obviously. Some of this may be until CJ gets involved in the supernatural stuff, but I'll try to make each chapter interesting still.**_

 _ **Thanks for reading! Review, comment, maybe ask a question or who. I hope y'all are doing okay on your first Tuesday without Teen Wolf.**_


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